Monday, November 8, 2010

Can We Talk?

December 2009....

I wanted to know where we stood, but I was afraid to bring it up in person. So, I went with the twentieth century, full-blown coward approach: I sent an email. 

I basically just told him that I really liked him, that it seemed like we were good together and I was wondering where we stood. Big's response? His feelings, while there, weren't where mine were. We agreed we'd keep seeing each other, and just see where it went. 

I figured Big and I would just continue to see each other casually. You know - "let things happen," as my friend Matt would say. I figured this was a good lesson for me. I was always planning everything, and trying to control how and when it all happened.

Although my friends thought I was crazy, I wanted to keep seeing him. I liked him a lot; I enjoyed the time we spent together, and I didn't want to give that up. So, advice from friends be damned - I decided to stick with the just let it happen idea, and see where it went. Worst case scenario, I thought, maybe I'd learn a little about myself and what I was really looking for in a relationship. 

Maybe I would finally learn that everything doesn't need an agenda...

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