Booty Call Etiquette

I know what you're thinking. "Booty calls" are crude and crass anyway, so how can etiquette apply at all?

Well, first - etiquette is just an unwritten and/or unspoken understanding about how one should behave in a given situation. So etiquette applies to everything.

Second - as long as everyone is legal, single, and consenting, there's nothing wrong with a booty call. In fact, I hate to even use the phrase - but it gets the point across.

Call it a booty call, or friends with benefits, or a f*ck buddy (thanks, SATC). Call it whatever you want. It's just sex - and that's the point. It's sex without attachment or commitment or connection. A complete separation of the physical act from the emotional response.

Supposedly.

Found it here

Actual experts say that separation really isn't possible. Sex releases a chemical in our brain that triggers the emotional response. So one causes the other - they can't be independent. That chemical reaction creates a feeling of connection to the other person.

That's not to say some people can't make it work. But I think that's where the etiquette comes in. We may not be able to control a chemical reaction, but we are in complete control of our own behavior.

If you want to keep it casual, you need to avoid the affection. Talk about sports, talk about movies, talk about politics. Don't get too deep into your family, your friends, or your feelings. That's too personal, and once you start sharing personal stuff, you're moving away from casual.

I've met men who actually avoid kissing. Sounded ridiculous to me - the only place I'd heard it before was Pretty Woman - but I have to say, it does actually work. You may not avoid emotions completely, but they definitely take longer to develop when there's no smooching.

Skip the "I had a great time" text. If you're both just in it for the sex, that kinda goes without saying. This comes across as the sort of check-in you'd do after a date, to gauge interest in the next one. If it's just sex, that's unnecessary.

Along those same lines, don't send the cute little text messages like, "Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you," or "Good morning, beautiful." Not necessary. If you want a woman to see you just for the sex, don't give her anything more.

That's the thing, though. While it can be very liberating to "date like a guy" without attachment, I think we all (women and men) want more sometimes. Some men really want to make a woman feel special and loved - or at least know they can make her feel that way. Some women really want a guy to look at her like she's the only one.

At some point, we probably all need to admit that no matter how much we want it, and no matter how hard we try - in the end, there's really no such thing as casual sex.