Wish I knew

My 2014 dating resolution is to learn from the lessons of 2013.

The biggest lesson I struggle with is not setting expectations. Plans. Agendas.

I blame an active imagination. I spent too much time writing stories as a kid. It's too easy for me to come up with ideas.

I can easily invent a vision of what the date will be like; how he'll treat me, the laughs we'll share, the connection we'll feel. If we keep seeing each other, it's easy to come up with ideas on how it will play out - future dates, meeting friends, etc.

Good grief.

By the way - this works both ways. The minute things don't look like my storyline,  I can easily invent reasons why. I find lies that probably aren't there, hear tones that don't exist, and see behavior changes that aren't real.

It's like a super power, really.

Well-meaning friends don't help. "How are things going?" after only a few days implies something should have changed. Then I wonder, if it hasn't changed, is something wrong? Am I wasting my time? Just spinning my wheels, hoping for something that isn't going to happen?

I tell myself that I need to be patient. These things take time.

"How much time?" seems like a valid question.

Sure wish I knew.