Love is Jeopardy - Part Three

You can read part one here and part two here....

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Best guy friend said, "It sounds like Crush could be another Big." 

Meaning only half invested, while I put my whole self into the relationship. Meaning he has demons and baggage that will keep him from investing himself and being honest. Meaning that I should have learned this lesson already; if I jump back in and get hurt, I have no one to blame but myself.

All very true. But the biggest lesson I learned (pun intended) about relationships is to be honest with the person, and myself. That game-playing isn't for me. That losing always sucks, but I can handle it better if I know it was an honest loss, and not something I blew because I played the game wrong.

Guy friend asked me to read my texts again, pretending that it was a friend texting me. (Excellent advice, by the way, and I hate admitting that since guy friend is also my ex.) Truthfully - if a friend told me the same story, I'd tell her to run. Then I'd take her phone and laptop away so she couldn't contact him.

But that's from the outside looking in. Life's not always that simple, which I've learned the hard way. Sometimes, you can't keep the wall up. Sometimes, you have to put yourself, and your heart, on the line and risk it being broken.

Walls are great at keeping out the hurt. The problem is, they also keep out the happy. So I think every now and then, you need to let the wall down, just so you won't forget how.

Even guy friend admitted....

The heart wants what it wants.

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