Into hiding

I had been talking to a few guys (who I met before Lent started) leading up to Valentine's Day. I met one for dinner a few days prior; the rest, we were just talking as of that day, with no firm plans to meet.

I figured they would all avoid me on VDay. Even though we had been talking every day, I had a feeling they wouldn't know what to do with that day - so rather than deal with it, they'd avoid it and hope it would just sort of pass by, unnoticed.

I asked a few guy friends what a guy does in this situation. They all agreed that if you might want to date the woman, you shouldn't ignore the day altogether - that sends the wrong message - but that if you aren't "officially dating" (seeing each other for a while, at least) then you can't really do a gift or even a card or dinner.

Apparently, men are under the impression that women assume a card on Valentine's Day is similar in scope to building a Taj Mahal in her honor.

"Well, what would you expect these guys to do?" Engineer asked, when I expressed my near-fatal exasperation at that assumption.



Found on Facebook. If it's yours, let me know.

Just treat it like any other day, for crying out loud.

If we've been talking every day, and suddenly, you avoid me (and I mean ignoring me altogether) I'm going to figure you either a) Have changed your mind about me or b) Are a spineless coward.

Newsflash: Like most women worth dating, I am not interested in men who are not interested in me, nor am I interested in spineless cowards.

If you're trying to date me - or at least keep the option open - you have just ruined that chance, because you were afraid to "send the wrong message."

For goodness sake - just say what you mean, and mean what you say. If you want to say hi - say hi! If you want to say Happy Valentine's Day - go for it! I won't start ordering wedding invitations, or picking out the tux you'll wear.

The truth is, I don't necessarily blame the guys for being unsure of what to do. Being single is tough; it's even tougher when you think you might like to not be single.

If you ignore the girl you like on Valentine's Day, she probably won't remember, and you'll be no worse off. But if you can make a single girl smile on Valentine's Day?

That will open up a whole lot of options.