Intimidation

When a was in high school, a popular upper-classman asked me out every day for a whole year. I ignored him. We didn't move in the same circles, and he wasn't the sort of guy I found attractive back then.

But that wasn't why I always declined.

I said no because I assumed he was making fun of me. I expected if I ever said yes, it would be a set up for humiliation, which I preferred to avoid.

Even though that was 20+ years ago, I still struggle with that low self-esteem every day. Getting rejected as often as I do does nothing for my self-image. But it is a part of dating - so it's not something I can really avoid. Instead, I've learned to manage it better, and recover more quickly.

A while back, I was talking to a couple of friends about men who walk away. One suggested maybe some guys are intimidated by my confidence, and leave because deep down they feel I'm "out of their league." While I appreciate her saying so, I just don't buy that excuse.

Even as much as I question my own looks and self-worth, I have managed dates with guys who I felt were way "out of my league." I've even managed to walk away from those guys, realizing they weren't good for me.

If I can walk away from a guy who made me drool in my pasta, then a handsome, successful, professional with an advanced degree certainly isn't walking away from a woman because she writes the occasional fluff piece for a local news website.

Yet, that's exactly what a guy did last week.

At first, he seemed OK with the whole idea. He recognized my name, realized he'd read my posts before, and thought it was cool. Somehow, over the next two hours, he came to the conclusion that he was "intimidated" by my "local celebrity" and would "feel too much like common folk" in front of me. He was sorry, but this would not work out.

First, let me tell you - I'm nothing that even resembles a "celebrity" - local or otherwise. I write because I enjoy writing. I'm not even paid by the local news website - it has an entire platform where reader-bloggers write on a variety of topics. I don't even get too personal over there. I mostly write about current events and issues related to the city in which I live.

So what's the problem? I have no idea. I assume that maybe it was just an excuse. Though he said he was interested, maybe he changed his mind. Or perhaps, as Engineer suggested, he read something I wrote with which he disagreed, but didn't want to say so.

I've lost track of how many rejections that is this month - but that definitely the lamest.