Friday, January 11, 2013

PSA - Black-hole guys

Black Hole Guys

Symptoms:


  • Suggests a bunch of dates
  • Says he really likes you
  • Makes a big deal about how excited he is to see you
  • Says how happy he is to have met you
  • Sudden retreat after these overtures - including but not limited to:

    • Texts/Calls are shorter and fewer/further between
    • You have to start suggesting dates, eventually you're doing all the work.
    • He will eventually go ghost and never be heard from again. 
     Causes:

    He comes on so strong because he's been taught it's necessary to ensure the woman stays interested - and/or he views you as a new "toy" and wants to play with nothing else temporarily. He's not secure enough to realize you might actually like him for himself, so he's not showing you the real him.

    The most common explanation for the sudden retreat is that he does not want to hurt your feelings by telling you he's not interested. He is, apparently, completely unaware that your feelings will be even more hurt when you eventually realize that you've been rejected in the worst possible way.

    Common side effects:

    That sudden 180 degree turn can lead to inappropriate text messages, late night phone calls, and stalking online profiles. In extreme cases, in-person stalking at places of business and/or home. He (and others) may describe this as "crazy." It is actually dating whiplash brought on by his sudden break and turn. At this time the only known cure is chocolate ice cream and/or Oreos with milk. If symptoms persist, go to a movie with friends and make sure they hold your cellphone.

    Possible cures:

    The only real cure would be for the men to actually say what they mean and mean what they say. They would need to abandon the false overtures and just say what is on their minds.

    At this time, there is nothing to suggest this will ever happen.

    The best protection is to realize that if a guy leads you on, the issue is his, not yours. He's the coward who couldn't face the fact that he led you on, and basically lied, all in an effort to not let something good slip through his fingers while his head was jammed up his ass.

    Future treatment:

    The unfortunate reality is that the current demographic of single guys ages 38-49 who are Black Hole Guys are also fathers of teenage sons. So not only are single women everywhere being treated this way now - but a new generation of cowards is being bred as we speak.

    The hope is that those young women are already trolling the internet for dating advice and stumble upon this (or similar) blog. Some insight into this epidemic may provide the proper self-esteem and dating savvy to protect themselves. Knowledge is power.

    Of course, they should also stock up on ice cream, Oreos, sappy movies and good friends.

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