Bet you're wondering....

Are you wondering what happened with Crush?

You can catch up by reading the Love is Jeopardy posts here, there, then here and finally there.

Or, if you prefer the Readers' Digest Version:

I asked if he would want to get together, and he said yes. When I brought up the weekend, he said he had plans. He volunteered that it was a date without me asking. Then he mentioned he saw me online on the dating website. I was feeling mixed signals (Why mention the date if he was interested, but why ask about the site if he wasn't?) so I sent a message and just flat-out said I was interested.

His response was that he likes me - but doesn't think he has romantic-type feelings for me. Said he felt that he was being terse, but has been led on by others and did not want to do the same. He also said he's been told before that he's hard to read, which surprises him since he holds nothing back.

I could probably help him understand that, but will only do so if he asks for some friendly input.

Here's my thing: I don't mind that he's not interested in me. Sure, it sucks never being "good enough." And no, that doesn't mean I'm going all woe-is-me or letting him take any shine away. I think it's fair to admit that's how it feels at first - then we recover. 


It's just not meant to be. When it's right, it will be effortless. The truth is, there was a lot that could have made us incompatible, and sometimes people are removed from our life to protect, not hurt. What if I kept getting more and more invested, and things kept progressing - and he did turn out to be another Big, and just pulled the rug out from underneath me? Or what if we both got more invested, and then one of the external factors forced us apart? I learned a good lesson - I got to feel butterflies (even if they weren't mutual).

I know all that's true. Sometimes I just wish that until it is meant to be, the universe (and cupid) would just leave me alone.

But then, I suppose, we couldn't learn the lessons.