I've talked about butterflies before. I'll be honest - I really thought I'd found them with Big. I once described him as someone who made me happy just by being around, who was the first person I thought to call with good or bad news, and who I often couldn't wait to see.
But...I think there might have been something missing. I think my feelings for Big developed over time - which is great, don't get me wrong. But there was no initial "spark." You know, that out-of-the-gate feeling that makes you catch your breath just a little, and keeps you smiling for days?
I'll be honest - I never had that with 28 Year Old, either. I liked him - a lot. But it was never an intense attraction, or an I-can't-wait-to-see-him sorta thing. Thing is - since I hadn't felt it before, I didn't feel like I was missing anything. I thought the spark, or attraction or whatever you want to call it, was something that just built over time for me.
Until I felt it with Crush. We went on a date last week, and the minute I saw him - I felt it. It was even more intense when his knee brushed mine, or my hand brushed his arm. A-ma-zing.
I don't know what's going to happen with Crush. But I have learned this: That feeling isn't something I'll ever do without again.