Call me crazy

Men throw around the word "crazy" to describe women all too often. I've said before, and I stand by my words, that if a man meets a lot of "crazy" women, it means either he himself is crazy (crazy attracts crazy), or he's the guy making them all crazy.

George Carlin once said,

"Here's all you need to know about men and women. Women are crazy, and men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy? Men are stupid." 

That goes back to the whole Mars and Venus thing, and how women don't understand men because men and women are so different. So a guy "being a guy" can drive a woman bonkers. Of course, the opposite is also true - a woman "being a woman" probably can drive a guy nuts.

So why don't women call men crazy? Because men don't react to a woman's "crazy" - they run away (that's stereotypical guy behavior - I realize it's not true of all men). When a guy is confusing or hurtful, women react; that reaction is what some guys refer to as "crazy."

And all women - every, single, one of us - has it inside of us to go "crazy." Our triggers are all a little different, and our level of crazy might change with experience or age - but it's there. Anyone who tries to tell you differently is either in denial, or trying to sell you something.

I know I have crazy in me. It came out during my divorce. Divorce is traumatic and awful and depressing and heartbreaking. I did and said a lot of stupid things. I'm just lucky that X forgave me. I'm also lucky that I didn't get arrested.

If I got that hurt now, would I react the same? I'm not sure. I'm older, a little wiser, definitely more mellow. I've been through heartbreak and didn't react poorly - but I haven't been in a fourteen year relationship that ended in such a dramatic way. So it's kind of hard to predict what I would do now, in that same situation.

I'd like to think I've matured past the crazy, but I am also sure I would have some reaction.

I've learned that, no matter what the woman's reaction, guys will often refer to her as crazy. As recently as last month, I had a conversation with a guy who said I was "buggin." I wasn't yelling, or swearing, or even raising my voice or being rude. I was expressing an opinion, and calling him out on some behavior I didn't like. In his mind, that was enough to make me crazy.

I am sure other men have done the same. Like the guy who wasn't interested, only to find out another woman had "mental issues" so he came back to me. I told him that I got the impression he wasn't interested in me, and he said I "thought it through too much." I'm sure he has thought to himself, "There goes another crazy one." I mean, if he could say the other woman is crazy, what would stop him from saying the same about me?

I guess the point is - we're all a little crazy. The trick is to find someone whose crazy compliments our own.

[Interesting side note: Both of those guys are former "bad boys" who are now substance abuse counselors. They say I'm crazy, but the dude I meet with once a month, who has an actual Ph.d assures me I am not.]