Are you generous or attractive?

Seems like there's a dating site for just about every person, situation, or possibility. I don't judge; if it feels right, and doesn't hurt anyone, I say rock on.

I'm intrigued by the idea of a travel dating site. MissTravel.com went live on April 9, with promises to pair generous members with attractive members. The generous members pay for the trips - airfare, accomodations, dining.

So what do the attractive members do? Other than agree to accompany the generous members on the adventures, it doesn't appear much. Oh, and look attractive, I guess.

Sounds like dating for a purpose, right? Exactly. In fact, that's what the site's founder Brandon Wade seems to do best. He also runs seekingmillionaire.com, seekingarrangement.com, and whatsyourprice.com. Says Wade,

All my websites have one theme in common - generosity. Generosity goes a long way when it comes to dating.

Uh huh. Thing is...I thought there was already a name for people who date others for their "generosity?"

No date? No prom

This has to be one of the worst things I've read. A teenager in PA is being banned from her own prom because she doesn't have a date.

Can you imagine? Her date backed out after she paid $95 for prom tickets. She's already invested money in the dress and the shoes. She's ordered the flowers. She's willing to go solo, but her school - Archbishop John Carroll High School, which is run by the Philadelphia Archdiocese - won't allow her.

When I had my senior prom 20 a few years back, most people wouldn't have had the courage to go alone. Definitely not any of the girls I knew. A few went with groups, and didn't have a particular date - but not solo.

I think this young woman should be applauded for her courage and her confidence. Instead, the school is holding her back.

For them to say that we're not good enough to go unless we have a guy standing next to us, it's just kind of sickening.

I agree. It is kind of sickening.

Vacation tips

Trooper and I are planning to take a vacation together this year. I'm excited about the idea of getting away, seeing someplace new, and making some memories with him.

That said - it's a little stressful, thinking about spending a full week with someone who I usually don't see more than a few times a week. Sure, we've spent entire weekends together - but this is a whole week. Six days; seven nights.


It occurs to me, though, that this is an excellent opportunity to see what we're made of as a couple. As Dr. Maya Angelou once said:

You can tell a lot about a person by the way she handles these three things: A rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

Awwww....

Trooper has already seen me at my worst. But it'll be interesting to see how we'll handle those things together.

These tips on how to go on vacation without killing each other are excellent, and very timely. Some of them are just common sense for enjoying any vacation (like, "be reasonable about what you'll get done"). But I also think it's a good reminder that it isn't your vacation (meaning, just yours). It's about the two of you spending time together - so the agenda isn't the same as if you treated yourself to a getaway.

There are, to my dismay, no tips on how to get the boyfriend to carry your luggage. You can bet that will be included in the tips I post after the trip.

Real thing

We're always looking for signs, especially when it comes to dating. We always want to know if it's the real thing without having to actually ask - so we read signs. I'm personally very bad at that - I tend to misread to the extreme. I either think things are going really well, when the guy is actually totally not into me - or I think it's totally wrong, when in fact, it's the real deal.

So I actually have to ask.

But there are signs that can help even the most challenged dater figure out if what's going is the real deal, or just another filler-date. How About We has a great wrap-up of a few signs to look for.

My personal favorite? You're both breaking all the rules. I think if you've found the right guy - you're going to write your own rules, anyway.

Are you single?

I've said before, I believe I'm single - but not available (which I firmly believe facebook should add as a relationship status option).

But if you are truly single (as in, not dating anyone) - what stage are you? How About We helps us figure that out, with the Eight Degrees of Singlehood.

Where do you fall? Have any to add?

High maintenance

X used to say I'm like Sally Albright; the worst kind of high maintenance woman - the kind that thinks she's low maintenance.

I say no to that - because I know I'm high maintenance.

Since getting divorced, and breaking up with Big, I have said more than once that it's possible that I am not meant to be with someone else. I can be really, really annoying. It's tough to work that into a relationship, and most aren't worth the effort.

See, most of the time I'm mild-mannered and laid-back. Every once in a while, something tests my patience. And sometimes, my patience fails - and GGS goes over to the Dark Side.

That happened this weekend. I was on edge - I had to deal with a problem, but was having a tough time finding the right customer service. I was coming off a bad week at work, and had gotten very little sleep.

I wasn't completely out of control. {I mean, I've been worse. Way worse. Chalk it up to personal growth.} But it was the worst that Trooper has seen. I was afraid I took my stress out on him by being a little short, and quiet - and not being very nice during an enthusiastic debate.

But he put up with me. He let me be cranky, reassured me with a hug - and then (nicely) told me I was being a little "off."

I like it. It's nice that I can get cranky, and he accepts that it comes with the territory - but he's also not afraid to call me out on my behavior, and let me know if I'm being unfair. Its cool to be in a relationship that's healthy enough to make those conversations work, without turning into a full-blown war of words.

I'll always be high maintenance; I'll always be a work in progress. I guess the same could be said for relationships. You're constantly learning about each other and adapting and adjusting to accommodate each other's little quirks.

And the right ones are worth the work.

Relationship status

I have facebook friends who change relationship status the way I change shoes. Personally, I don't understand that - unless it's a pretty permanent thing, and really is a defining part of your life - why is it relevant? I suppose that's another blog.

But thanks to these friends, even though I stopped displaying my relationship status on facebook years ago, I know they've added some options over the years. Out of curiosity, I looked at the options the other day. The choices, in no particular order:

• single
• married
• in a relationship
• divorced
• in a civil union
• engaged
• it's complicated
• widowed
• in a domestic partnership
• separated 
• in an open relationship

Seems to me that a few are missing. My suggestions:

• in denial (it's over, but you're not willing to let go)
• hanging on (he's left; you're convinced he'll be back)
• wallowing (you've accepted that he's not coming back, but won't admit you're single yet)
• bitter (you've admitted that you're single, but you're still angry)
• crush (you really, really like someone, and have therefore built a wall to keep everyone else out)
• stalker (your crush is two steps away from having a restraining order sworn out against you)

I suppose an argument could be made that any of these could be covered by "it's complicated." I would argue that if any of these (or any other "complicated") apply - you should consider just removing the relationship status from your profile.

Not that everyone doesn't appreciate the warning.