Thursday, April 19, 2012

High maintenance

X used to say I'm like Sally Albright; the worst kind of high maintenance woman - the kind that thinks she's low maintenance.

I say no to that - because I know I'm high maintenance.

Since getting divorced, and breaking up with Big, I have said more than once that it's possible that I am not meant to be with someone else. I can be really, really annoying. It's tough to work that into a relationship, and most aren't worth the effort.

See, most of the time I'm mild-mannered and laid-back. Every once in a while, something tests my patience. And sometimes, my patience fails - and GGS goes over to the Dark Side.

That happened this weekend. I was on edge - I had to deal with a problem, but was having a tough time finding the right customer service. I was coming off a bad week at work, and had gotten very little sleep.

I wasn't completely out of control. {I mean, I've been worse. Way worse. Chalk it up to personal growth.} But it was the worst that Trooper has seen. I was afraid I took my stress out on him by being a little short, and quiet - and not being very nice during an enthusiastic debate.

But he put up with me. He let me be cranky, reassured me with a hug - and then (nicely) told me I was being a little "off."

I like it. It's nice that I can get cranky, and he accepts that it comes with the territory - but he's also not afraid to call me out on my behavior, and let me know if I'm being unfair. Its cool to be in a relationship that's healthy enough to make those conversations work, without turning into a full-blown war of words.

I'll always be high maintenance; I'll always be a work in progress. I guess the same could be said for relationships. You're constantly learning about each other and adapting and adjusting to accommodate each other's little quirks.

And the right ones are worth the work.

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