Relationship status

I have facebook friends who change relationship status the way I change shoes. Personally, I don't understand that - unless it's a pretty permanent thing, and really is a defining part of your life - why is it relevant? I suppose that's another blog.

But thanks to these friends, even though I stopped displaying my relationship status on facebook years ago, I know they've added some options over the years. Out of curiosity, I looked at the options the other day. The choices, in no particular order:

• single
• married
• in a relationship
• divorced
• in a civil union
• engaged
• it's complicated
• widowed
• in a domestic partnership
• separated 
• in an open relationship

Seems to me that a few are missing. My suggestions:

• in denial (it's over, but you're not willing to let go)
• hanging on (he's left; you're convinced he'll be back)
• wallowing (you've accepted that he's not coming back, but won't admit you're single yet)
• bitter (you've admitted that you're single, but you're still angry)
• crush (you really, really like someone, and have therefore built a wall to keep everyone else out)
• stalker (your crush is two steps away from having a restraining order sworn out against you)

I suppose an argument could be made that any of these could be covered by "it's complicated." I would argue that if any of these (or any other "complicated") apply - you should consider just removing the relationship status from your profile.

Not that everyone doesn't appreciate the warning.