Easy out

Remember this guy? From conversations I've seen around twitter, I know that he's been thinking that his kids are the reason he has trouble finding a date.

But I know that he can be difficult, and a little judgmental and...well, honestly, a little pompous at times.

That got me wondering - are the women really turned off by the fact that he's a parent? Or are they just looking for an easy out?

That's the topic of today's Singles Warehouse guest post. Check it out here.

Happy Monday

Because I blog about dating, my friends send me dating stories they find online, or from their own lives (or lives of others). I might get a short story, or a picture or an excerpt from a profile.

Sometimes the stories are funny, or ironic or just plain weird.

Then there the stories like this one - just plain horrifying.

Happy Monday, from Cute Ella.

He's a trooper

Things are going fabulous with Trooper. Fabulous. He's smart, funny, kind, caring, sweet, honest, and not afraid to tell and show me how he feels. I couldn't possibly be happier.

So of course - I'm a little afraid to blog about him.

I feel sort of...guilty, as if I shouldn't be sharing wonderful things that include him, when he doesn't know that I share this way. But friends have said I should wait to tell him about this blog.

Oddly enough, though I can never remember when my next dentist appointment is, what I needed to put on the shopping list, or what I had for breakfast - I have instant recall when it comes to key dates. That being the case - I know for a fact that today is exactly one month since my first date with Trooper.

So does that mean it's time to tell? We've had a couple of very personal talks; he's shared things and so have I. It seems to make sense, and I suspect it would actually be an okay conversation. Still, there's a little part of me that's worried.

I bet crazy cat ladies never have these problems.

Be thankful

Today, I'm thankful I'm not a turkey!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Who's on first?

I pointed out this article from iVillage the other day. I was reading the article a little more closely, and one of the items caught my attention.

She never makes the first move.

The article says though this issue has been "debated to death," the reasoning is that if the woman is always planning dates, she'll never know if the guy is really interested.

I disagree. Based on what, you ask? In a word - Big.

I applied this rational when we were dating, totally letting him plan our dates. Just about every time we saw each other for the first six months, it was because of his initiative. In the end, it still turned out that he was just not that into me. But here he'd been, planning dates for months, and here I was - believing the signs.

That just goes to show that, no matter how careful you are, if you're assuming how someone feels, and attempting to read between the lines, there will always be room for misunderstanding. Though I definitely like the idea of being pursued, at some point, you just have to take things into your own hands.

Even though it feels a little bit like game-playing, I really do try for some balance when it comes to who initiates what, and when. If a guy has suggested a bunch of dates, I will make the effort on the next one. Why?

First, because it shows him I'm interested. That seems only fair. I mean, guys have insecure moments, too, right?

Second - women spend entirely too much time trying to make sure we are the woman he likes. We never concern ourselves with whether or not he's the guy we like. The guy I like is someone with whom I don't have to assume or play games. He can handle me being upfront, and letting him know how I feel.

Lastly, I think all that guess-work and wondering and assuming and "what iffing?" leads to poor communication. I want someone with whom I can be honest, and talk comfortably. Otherwise, our conversations start to sound a little like Abbot & Costello.

And Who wants that?

Holiday cheer

I came across this post the other day about the traits men look for in a girlfriend. The subject of the email that I got read, "Have a boyfriend by the holidays!"

Then I heard a local radio station talking about whether or not online dating sites are busier, and the women more aggressive, once the holidays roll around.

It got me thinking - are women really more interested in finding a steady-date this time of year? Do we cave under the pressure of family, and holiday parties, and the dreaded prospect of being dateless on New Year's Eve?

I think we might - and I confess, it makes me a little sad. That's the subject of this week's Singles Warehouse post - check it out, here.

Best facebook face

Trooper sent me the friend request on facebook, after our second date. I accepted it, already aware of what my profile looks like. I warned him ahead of time that I am friends with a couple of exes - and learned that so is he, so it's actually fine. 

Just to double check, I also used the feature on my profile page, allowing me to view it as him - to see what he'd see. I double checked my privacy settings, friend lists, etc. I don't post pictures of myself that are embarrassing or compromising, anyway, so that wasn't an issue. As a rule, I don't say anything on the internet I wouldn't want the internet to see - and that includes any new people in my life. 

About 20 minutes after I did all this, I got an email from How about we, with a link to an article called 9 Things to Do When Someone You Like Friends You on Facebook. 

Honestly - the tips are really what everyone should be doing anyway. I mean, wouldn't you always show off your best self, crush or not? Things like checking the top five photos, and watching what you post on others pages, and carefully choosing which pages to "like" - that's all normal facebook activity. 

Always show off your best facebook face.