Sort of single

I find Facebook groups to be a little like a hostage situation, with most members suffering from something that resembles Stockholm Syndrome. We didn't ask to be there, we're not really sure how we got there, we can't figure out a way to leave, and it seems easier to just try and get along with everyone.

But I am in this one group that I actually enjoy. It's all women (at least it seems to be) and topics for discussion range from mascara to childhood surgery to mental health to pumpkin spice.

Most of the ladies in the group are married moms. Please don't misunderstand - I like married moms. Some of my best friends are married moms. Some of the best people on the planet are married moms.

But I am not a married mom. What's more - I'm not a married mom by choice. I'll definitely never be a married mom, so I'm not even a married-mom-in-waiting.

So some of the posts aren't really for me, which I accept and scroll on. Or maybe I silently troll the comments. It sort of depends how bored I am at work.

Not long ago, I was scrolling along and saw a post that opened with: Single ladies, this one's for you! What do you want to talk about?

Super-excited, I stopped all the work I wasn't doing and eagerly dug in. Finally a conversation I could join!

Except - I really couldn't. They wanted to talk about dating, and family pressure to find someone, and a host of other topics to which I could totally relate.... back before I started dating Toyfriend.

I realized, not only am I not a married mom - I'm not even married, or a mom. I'm also not really single, either. I used to think I would always consider myself single until someone was helping me pay rent. While I still don't have that, I don't really feel single anymore, either. I have relationship issues similar to my married friends - but I have it easier because I have a boyfriend, not a husband, and my own space. I can relate to my friends who are in unmarried relationships - until we get to the part about planning to be married and/or have a family. That's not me either.

So I'm not really single - but I'm also not in what most people consider a relationship. I don't seem to quite fit in anywhere.

Which is probably a good indication that I'm in a relationship that is right for me, since I almost never do well when I do what everyone else is doing... but it does leave me with surprisingly few people to whom I can relate.

Maybe I need to start my own Facebook group?