Happy Valentines Day

I'm not saying "Happy Valentine's Day" because my wish doesn't belong to just one Valentine.

I'm saying "Happy Valentines Day" because today is a day to celebrate all Valentines - in their many forms.

Unless you're new, or just don't listen to me (I sorta wouldn't blame you), you realize I am my own Valentine. It's cool. I'm taking myself shopping, and then on a sushi date. I'll be on time, dress nice, and open all the doors for me.

I'm such a great date.

But this post isn't about being your own date. This post is about asking those of you who are your own date to let those who have a date be happy.

You may be tempted to post how Valentines Day is just a "stupid Hallmark holiday," or that flowers are silly or frivolous, or how getting them at work (and/or posting a picture) is just a play for attention. I get it - I mean, you're sorta right.

Are flowers a necessity? No. But they are pretty and fun. Are they overpriced for February 14? Yes. But they make people smile, and feel appreciated and loved - and that's worth a little extra.

Are the posts a little showy? Sure. But let's be honest - all posts are a little showy. No one needs to show off her gifts, just like no one needs to share his opinions.

You may think you sound practical or logical. Or maybe you think you sound like someone who's just too cool for this sort of thing.

But what you really sound like is someone who's jealous. You also sound a little judgy, and like a bit of a party pooper.

So, if your facebook feed is flooded with pictures of roses and candy and jewelry, ignore them or like them - but don't knock them.

I won't be getting any romantic Valentines. I also won't begrudge the enjoyment of anyone who does. I love flowers. I love candy, and little gifts. I remember how wonderful it felt to have someone remember me, and how much I wanted to share that happiness.

I've gotten my fair share - and I hope someday, I'll get more. Until then, I'll be happy for my friends.

(By the way - if this is the future, and you're the guy thinking about buying me gifts- you can't spend too much, and I'm perfectly OK with frivolity. Dark chocolate is my favorite, my ring size is 7, and my shoe size is 6. My favorite color is purple, and I've never met a sparkle I didn't like.)

NaBloPoMo - Valentines past and present

Today's writing prompt is...

How did this Valentine's Day compare V-Days of years past?

I don't think this is a fair comparison. V-Day has become a day to celebrate romantic love. If you're single, it's actually a day full of pressure. Pressure to establish a relationship in time for a date, or to avoid embarrassment or awkwardness in a new relationship, or to find some way to escape the fact that you don't have a relationship.

Last year, I had a relationship - and a date. Trooper and I had been going out for nearly three months. I got chocolates and flowers (not red roses) and a surprise dinner. As romantic Valentines go, it was one of the best I've ever had; certainly the best I've had since I was married.

This year was obviously very different. I had a few potential dates, but none worthy of the V-Day pressure. Instead, I made plans with Baking Suit, and the guy she likes a whole lot (aka her husband). They aren't the traditional romantics, and had no problem taking pity on their poor single friend inviting me over for a little pizza and dessert.

How does it compare to last year? If we judge solely based on the romance factor - last year would win. But like I said - that's a bad comparison.

My date last year isn't around this year. Sure, we're still friends - but not Valentines. So when you think about it, really - what were we celebrating last year? A temporary relationship? One that couldn't stand the test of time?

This year, I celebrated love with two people who are always there for me. I celebrated lasting friendship in its truest form. I celebrated honor and respect and humor and sharing between two people who care for each other so much, not even a third wheel can spoil their bond.

That's a love worth celebrating. Definitely a Valentine's Day for the record books.

(Plus, shemarmoore.com launched yesterday. Something else to celebrate.)

NaBloPoMo - V-Day

Today's writing prompt is...

How do you feel about Valentine's Day?

I'm single. I had a bad breakup less than a year ago, then a heartbreaking ending to a nice relationship a few months later. Since then I've been on a string of dates that ended in rejection of one type or another.

I like to think that, for the most part, I am a mature, confident, positive person who always looks for the good in the world - and is pretty good at finding it. I'd like to think I'm evolved enough to say that I feel Valentine's Day is a wonderful occasion, set aside to celebrate love in its many forms.

I'd like to say all that. But right now, if you ask me what I think of Valentine's Day, I'd have to say...

Found it here

NaBloPoMo - Valentines

Today's writing prompt is...

If you could send out Valentines like you did in grade school, what type of Valentine would you send to your blogsphere class?

This was made for me by my crafty friend, Court is Crafty. Visit her facebook page here for more fun, creative ideas. You can also visit her page here and see what she's got for sale.

NaBloPoMo - Sweet Valentine

Today's writing prompt is...

What is your favorite Valentine's Day candy?

I don't like my chocolate filled with anything, or drizzled over fruit. It should be solid, bite-size, and the darker the better. No one does chocolate better than Hershey's, and I'm not really sure why anyone else tries.

I can enjoy higher end chocolate (like Lindt, for example) - but am perfectly happy with a bag full of dark kisses. 

NaBloPoMo - Ideal Valentine's Day

Today's writing prompt is...

What is your ideal Valentine's Day celebration?

This year, I'd say my ideal Valentine's Day celebration includes no mention of the freaking day at all. Or it involves me and a friend having a yummy dinner and then going shoe shopping. Or me, hanging out with that same good friend, whose husband has also taken pity on me.

But, I suppose given NaBloPoMo's theme, they want me to talk about my ideal romantic Valentine's Day.

I guess the ideal celebration depends on the guy. I mean - we should both enjoy how we spend the time, and that differs depending on the two people involved. So it's hard to say what my ideal celebration would include. But it's easy for me to tell you what it wouldn't include:

* Red roses - To be clear - I love flowers, and I absolutely love receving them on Valentine's Day. Ideally I'd like to get them at work because I'm a girl and we like those things. I'm just not a fan of the cliche red rose, and would prefer the guy think a little harder and come up with something that's more my style.

* Boxed candy - Of course I love chocolate. I just don't like those chocolates that come in the box and are filled with fake fruit and creme and all other kinds of crap. A bag of Hershey's Special Dark kisses would be just fine.

* Surprise dinner - I like to know where I'm going, so I can dress accordingly. So no surprises, please.

I guess that's really all for my "don't" list. As for what a guy should do...

Well, since I'm struggling to find a guy who will be open and honest about how he feels - I guess sharing his true feelings would be all I really need. It also wouldn't hurt if he actually kept the date.

"Women aren't complicated. How hard is it to give us chocolate and tell us we're pretty?" ~ Unknown (but so true)

NaBloPoMo - A February project

Baking Suit turned me on to the NaBloPoMo February Writing Prompts over at BlogHer.

If you're not familiar, writing prompts are intended to give bloggers inspiration, and to encourage writing - something, anything - every day. While I'm not an everyday writer, I do like to schedule as much as I can to post everyday.

Coming off the heels of a very tough bad-for-me pseudo-relationship, and having just met an amazing man about whom I'm not quite ready to write (jury is still out on how amazing), writing prompts are perfect.

For the next 28 days, we'll discuss:

Friday, February 1, 2013
When was the last time you said, "I love you."?

Monday, February 4, 2013
Tell us about your first crush.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
How old were you the first time you fell in love?

Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Do you remain friends with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends after you break up?

Thursday, February 7, 2013
Describe your ideal date night.

Friday, February 8, 2013
Name the most romantic movie of all time.

Monday, February 11, 2013
What is your ideal Valentine's Day celebration?

Tuesday, February 12, 2013
What is your favourite Valentine's Day candy?

Wednesday, February 13, 2013
If you could send out valentines this year as you did back in grade school, what type of valentine would you send out to your blogosphere class?

Thursday, February 14, 2013
How do you feel about Valentine's Day?

Friday, February 15, 2013
How did this Valentine's Day compare with Valentine's days of years past?

Monday, February 18, 2013
What is the most romantic book you've ever read?

Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Martin Luther King Jr. unpacked love and hate when he said, "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear." Which is easier for you to feel: love or hate?

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Erich Fromm said, "Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you'." How do you define mature love?

Thursday, February 21, 2013
Do you think people can live without love?

Friday, February 22, 2013
Aristotle said, "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." Do you agree or disagree?

Monday, February 25, 2013
Do you think you would enjoy being a "sex symbol?"

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Do you think sex education should come from the parents, the school, or a mix of both?

Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Mae West described sex as "emotion in motion." Unpack this idea in a post.

Thursday, February 28, 2013
When do you feel your sexiest?

Single on Valentine's Day

Unless things go horribly wrong in the next five days, I don't plan on being single without an SO this Valentine's Day.

However - it's the first V-Day in a while when I will be in a relationship. I'm all too familiar with flying solo on a day serving as a constant reminder of all the things your love life isn't. So, for those looking to "survive" the day without a romantic partner - take heart. It's easier than you think.

Don't make it a big deal. It's one day. Most of your friends will make such a big deal out of this one day - they'll set all sorts of expectations that won't be met. Look at it this way - on February 15, they'll be lamenting the date that wasn't all it was supposed to be - and you will have completely moved on.

If having plans is that important - make some. Last year, I went to dinner (complete with a shared dessert) and shoe shopping with a great friend. Shoes, food and friends? Easily the best V-Day I've ever had. No single friends, or schedules don't work out? No problem. Treat yourself to a movie you really want to see, or a restaurant you've been wanting to try. Don't want to venture out solo on that day? Understandable. Try some takeout from that Mexican or Italian place that you love, and put a chick flick in the DVD player.

Make it special. Maybe there's a pair of shoes you've been eyeing, or a new piece of jewelry you really want? What about a splurge on an expensive purse? Go for it! You're single and fabulous - and you deserve something fun just as much as your non-available friends. No time like the present. Bonus - the girls with the dates will all be stuck at dinner with boys - you'll have the dressing rooms all to yourself!

Send cards to those you love. You don't have to be in a relationship to have love in your life. There are all kinds of love besides romantic - and they all deserve to be celebrated. I have cards for friends, kids, family - even kitties. Why not? It's all love - and I'm lucky to have it in my life.