Pimpin ain't easy

When I told you I had two first dates in the same night, I promised to tell you more about Pimp. I always keep my promises.

I actually approached him on Plenty of Fish; his pictures seemed like he'd have a slightly urban edge, but he was pretty attractive, and I liked his profile. We started chatting, and honestly - I wasn't really feeling him. He used very short-handed text (which I dislike) and his tone was also....urban (aka - not very good English).

But then he told me his first name. It was so unusual, and sounded made up. I decided it was worth meeting him just to see if it was really his first name.

We met at a place with counter service, for drinks. I was looking to keep it informal, and non-committed because honestly - I didn't see this going anywhere. That turned out to be an excellent choice.

He was very nice; polite, easy to talk with, fun, considerate...all the things a guy should be.

He also took four phone calls in the hour that we sat together - which is amazing when you consider that he is unemployed. He rolled up in a luxury sedan wearing more bling than I (which, if you know me, is no small task) - and he's unemployed. His kids are grown - but something is going on that is so important he has to take that many phone calls.

"What did you do?" I asked, thinking maybe he made a lot of money when he was working.

Social services was his answer. Trust me - no one in the line of work he mentioned is getting rich.

OK - so he's unemployed, rolling in luxury, and came from a modest living. He takes phone calls that are too important to let be for an hour.

I assumed he must be either a pimp, a dealer, or a bookie.

As it turns out, he had even more drama. He told me he owned a house in the same city I live. "Well - I used to own a house. Now I live in an apartment. I lost my house because I got a DWI a few years ago and had to go to prison."

I beg your pardon?


"That's not really me," he said. "I was depressed. My wife gave birth to a child who was obviously not mine; I found out in the delivery room. You probably know my wife..." Then he went on to (publicly) name a local celebrity to whom he was once married.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted - but it does validate my preference for first dates where there is a quick, easy exit.

In case you're wondering - yes, the funky name is really his first name, and no, we did not ever have a second date. Dude's too busy, and I never date anyone who has better accessories than I.

Two is better than one

Two is better than one when it comes to eyes...ears...hands...shoes...earrings....

Not necessarily "dates in one night."

But, that's what I did, about two weeks after updating my online dating profiles. It didn't start out that way. In fact, when I left for work that morning, I had every intention of hitting the nail salon and the gym in the evening.

Then Pimp texted to ask if I wanted to meet for a quick bite. He offered a place near work, that would be very quick - more on that later - and I accepted. I might need to skip my nails, but I could still make the gym.

Then Morgan texted me and asked if I was busy; his plans with his kids had changed, and he was hoping we could get together (it would be our first date). I wasn't giving up a chance at that; so I said sure, but I would need to text when I was done with my "friend."

I've gone on more than one date in a day before. But it's usually meet one for coffee (as a first date) and one for dinner (as a second or third date). I've never gone on two first dates within two hours.

I have to say - not something I recommend.

If you actually like first dates - maybe. I do not. I hate repeating the same basic spiel - my "story" - over and over; to have to do it twice in a couple of hours? Torture.

Not to mention - both guys wanted to go for food. Not having planned better, I didn't leave myself an out. So by the time I got home, I was full - and didn't have time for the gym.

It also left me no time for myself. On a Saturday, a breakfast date followed by a dinner date later is fine. I'm left with plenty of GGS time in between. But squeezing in two dates after work? No time at all. Not a good plan.

But we know I like my lessons. The moral of this story?

When you're single, you always need to be dressed as though your next date is just around the corner.