Heart bruises

The last of the "several guys" is a man I met a couple months ago. Technically, we went out a few times - then he went on a business trip and I didn't see him for six weeks. We kept in touch during that time, but obviously, it was just friendly and casual.

The thing about this guy, is it will always just be casual. Traveling for work is a way of life for him (he's gone six months or more out of the year). When he's not traveling for work, he travels to see friends. When he's not doing that, he's visiting his kids (who live about 2 hours away).

Not a lot of time to give a date, and not a lot of time to develop anything more than a casual relationship.

Found it here

I knew that going in, and like the other guy I talked about, I was fine. At first.

In the meantime, I met several other guys who were unwilling to give me any time or priority. I think that helped me realize how much I value when someone gives me his time, and makes me a priority.

This guy (we'll call him Waldo) isn't in a position to do any of that. All he can offer is down-time from work. On his schedule, and his terms.

So, I told him that doesn't work for me. He told me it's all he can offer, and he hopes things don't have to change. I told him they do because the current arrangement results in my feelings getting hurt, which can't continue.

And that was that.

It ended on friendly terms, and I'm sure we'll keep in touch, and maybe see each other again some time.

Though it was technically me who ended things, it still felt a little like rejection. I couldn't help the thought (fleeting, but still) that maybe he'd admit he has feelings for me too, and want to actually try.

Of course I knew better, and we hadn't known each other long enough or well enough for my heart to break.

Just a little bruised.

An update

The guy who blew me off over the weekend...

I wanted to say something, but knew contacting him was useless. I managed a couple of days. Then I saw he was online, and couldn't take it anymore.

I sent a very polite text, saying since I never heard from him, seems to me he's not interested. Said he could have just been honest, but no hard feelings and I wished him well.

He replied by saying he "just got really busy over the weekend" but thanks and he wished me the same.

Now... There's no point in analyzing. I don't know the guy well enough to even guess if he's lying, let alone know for sure. In fact, he probably deserves the benefit of the doubt.

I'm sure he did get busy Saturday night. He was probably busy Sunday, too. But he had time to jump on a dating site Monday morning...so would it have killed him to take a minute and text to tell me what happened?

I realize we only just met, and not every relationship starts off on the fast track. I'm perfectly happy if we can only see each other here and there, at least to start off. Hey, it's gotta start somewhere, right?

What I can't seem to grasp, or handle, is the thing where a guy says he'll text - and then just doesn't. If I tell you I'm going to be in touch, I will be in touch, even if it's just to say I can't get together.

[Side note: If I say I might get in touch, and then I don't, it's a sign I'm not interested. Which is what I figure when others do the same to me.]

At first, I felt like I wanted to kick myself. Like I had overstepped and drew an unfair conclusion. Perhaps I did...but the more I think about it, the less I think it matters.

All of our interactions were at my initiation. He did text, and he did say he wanted to get to know me, and see me again - but always after I contacted him. I don't want to feel as though I'm chasing him for communication - nor do I want to make anyone feel as though he's being chased.

The reality is, I prefer to date someone who is willing to place a little more priority on getting to know me.

If that's asking too much, I would at least like to find someone who has some manners, and calls when he says he'll call.