Monday, July 6, 2015

Trust life a little bit

"What will you do [about your blog] when you find someone?"

It seems like it was about 100 years ago when a friend asked me that question. (In reality, it was probably about 4 years ago.) At the time, I answered that if it ever happened, I would probably just change the tone of the blog to talk more about a single woman making the transition to life as part of a couple. I wasn't too worried, because I really never thought it would come up.

Well.... it's come up.

It happened pretty fast and I'll admit, I'm having a little trouble catching my breath. There's a few lingering doubts and worries, but with each day I find myself thinking about them less and less.

My biggest struggle has nothing to do with him, his baggage, my trust or commitment issues, etc. It has to do with me - wondering why am I OK with such a huge change, and why am I not more worried about losing the woman I've become? As I said to Baking Suit, "My lack of uneasiness is making me uneasy." Silly, right?

I told him that I trust and care for him enough to put my cynical, cold, hardened single-gal attitude in the backseat - and I do. But I'm used to that woman. I know her. I understand her. I trust her. She got through some awful stuff - I value her strength. I'd never want to lose her.

Not only that, but my friends know and trust her, too. Will people be happy for me if my life changes? Will they accept me? Will they accept him?! Will they respect me for finding and accepting happiness?

Baking Suit sent this link last week. It's right - I don't owe anyone my independence or my single lifestyle. If it no longer serves me, it's time to let it go.

My true friends will stand beside me.

No comments:

Post a Comment