Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Speed dating conversation

After my last speed dating experience, I thought I was probably done with the whole idea. I reconsidered, partly because of my problems with the online thing, and partly because I know I need some practice with the in-person flirting thing. I thought speed dating might help me with both of those things - so I found an event and signed up.

First - I picked an event closer to me and with better parking. Sounds silly, I know, but having to search for a place, or not knowing what kind of place it is, or wondering how far I'll have to walk stresses me out - and that makes it tough to enjoy the event.

I also picked an event geared towards people closer to the age group I prefer to date. The last one was
30 - 39, which puts me at the top of the group; this one was 35 - 47, so I was closer to the middle.

I have to say, I had a lot more fun at this event - which is ironic, since I made no matches. There was one guy I was hoping to connect with, but no one - not one person - wanted to connect with me.

Sigh. It's OK. Now I get a free speed dating event, and I will check it out again.

In the meantime - I think it helped me identify a few things I need to improve. First, about halfway through the event, they always break for appetizers and mingling. Like I said - I'm bad at the in-person flirt thing. But I think I need to work on those skills, or risk looking like I'm anti-social at these events. Sigh. I hate that as much as I hated class participation in school. Just give me the darn quiz and let me show what I know - ya know?

Anyway - I also want to work on conversation. Each date is six minutes. Some people really just want to talk the basics - what do you do, are you from the area, do you have kids, have you been married? Others love to start the conversation asking if you've done speed dating before.

In my opinion, either is fine - but neither really makes anyone stand out. The guy I really liked asked where I lived, and I mentioned my city's name, and we got to talking about the area and all the improvements that have been made in the last few years. I thought that was a good conversation - different than the regular rundown. It shows I'm invested in where I live, gave me a chance to talk about a hobby, and gave some genuine insight into how I think and what I like.

That's the kind of conversation where I feel like I shine - and it's the kind of information that I think would make a guy stand out in my mind as well.

Of course, I could just let the guys steer the conversation. That would certainly be easier - but it's not what self-improvement is about. I guess it's time I just take matters into my own hands.

No comments:

Post a Comment