Right time, right pace

Turtle and I are still seeing each other. He was out of town for 10 days, and I will admit, I really thought things between us would just die a natural death while he was away. I didn't think we had enough of a connection to withstand the distance and time.

Before he left, he added me on facebook. This opened up a whole new way for us to get to know each other (more on that in another post). It also allowed us to keep in touch, even when we weren't texting.

I give credit where it's due, and Turtle did keep in touch. A lot - definitely more than I expected. We texted just about every day, and less than a week into his trip, he asked to make plans for after he was home. Then, even better - and totally unexpected - he called the day he landed and asked me to meet him for lunch.

It may not seem like a big deal, but I thought it was a nice thing, that he wanted to see me the day he got back. Especially since we still planned to keep a date that was two days away.

I still find myself wondering. Are we just friends? Actually, I know right now that's really what we are. But it feels like something a little more. Like we're investigating the possibility.

I told Baking Suit that as long as there's progress - even subtle - each time we get together, I think it's worth the time and effort. If it stalls, and we seem stuck in a particular place, I'd probably have to bite the bullet and, you know, ask.

This is truly unlike any other dating situation I've been in. I haven't made it to date number eight in years - and I've never made it this far and only hugged a guy. My first reaction is to run away. Tell him it just isn't working for me, we don't seem to be on the same page. You know, before I really start to like him, and risk getting hurt.

I stop just short of that because, while I know there's always the possibility it'll fizzle and we'll just remain friends, I find myself really digging this guy. Plus, the change is refreshing. At the very least, this will teach me a whole new way to value myself and my relationships.

I have not put my feelings on the line since Trooper. I've been too scared to feel that pain again. Even though I know every date, every hug, every Facebook "like" puts me a little closer to the fire, I feel like it's finally time to put myself back in the game.