Monday, July 30, 2012

Pimpin ain't easy

When I told you I had two first dates in the same night, I promised to tell you more about Pimp. I always keep my promises.

I actually approached him on Plenty of Fish; his pictures seemed like he'd have a slightly urban edge, but he was pretty attractive, and I liked his profile. We started chatting, and honestly - I wasn't really feeling him. He used very short-handed text (which I dislike) and his tone was also....urban (aka - not very good English).

But then he told me his first name. It was so unusual, and sounded made up. I decided it was worth meeting him just to see if it was really his first name.

We met at a place with counter service, for drinks. I was looking to keep it informal, and non-committed because honestly - I didn't see this going anywhere. That turned out to be an excellent choice.

He was very nice; polite, easy to talk with, fun, considerate...all the things a guy should be.

He also took four phone calls in the hour that we sat together - which is amazing when you consider that he is unemployed. He rolled up in a luxury sedan wearing more bling than I (which, if you know me, is no small task) - and he's unemployed. His kids are grown - but something is going on that is so important he has to take that many phone calls.

"What did you do?" I asked, thinking maybe he made a lot of money when he was working.

Social services was his answer. Trust me - no one in the line of work he mentioned is getting rich.

OK - so he's unemployed, rolling in luxury, and came from a modest living. He takes phone calls that are too important to let be for an hour.

I assumed he must be either a pimp, a dealer, or a bookie.

As it turns out, he had even more drama. He told me he owned a house in the same city I live. "Well - I used to own a house. Now I live in an apartment. I lost my house because I got a DWI a few years ago and had to go to prison."

I beg your pardon?

"That's not really me," he said. "I was depressed. My wife gave birth to a child who was obviously not mine; I found out in the delivery room. You probably know my wife..." Then he went on to (publicly) name a local celebrity to whom he was once married.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted - but it does validate my preference for first dates where there is a quick, easy exit.

In case you're wondering - yes, the funky name is really his first name, and no, we did not ever have a second date. Dude's too busy, and I never date anyone who has better accessories than I.


  1. I know who you're talking about and I can not thank you enough for taking that one for the team. He messaged me a few times back in the day and while always curious, I just couldn't do it!

    1. Then I could count this hour towards my volunteer total for the month, and write-off the $5 I spent on soda and chips with guac, right?

  2. OH MY WORD.

    It's something right out of movie!

  3. "...and I never date anyone who has better accessories than I. "---Love it!

  4. Such an interesting story haha. Its a bit weird to find you know but sometimes it happen, thats life.
    I would let it be and give him a chance just to see how the guy is, I mean in a depper way. Not considerating his private bussiness.

    Great blog by the way

  5. This reminds me of a guy I met through OK Cupid. His screen name was that of a huge character on a day time soap opera. (Sonny Corinthos) When I asked why he had chosen that screen name he said that he was planning to legally change his name from his current one to this one. Also when I looked a little closer to his photos he has used younger photos of the actor that plays the tv character that he had taken off the internet. I did not meet up with this man to go on a date. It was just too creepy. y