Pimpin ain't easy

When I told you I had two first dates in the same night, I promised to tell you more about Pimp. I always keep my promises.

I actually approached him on Plenty of Fish; his pictures seemed like he'd have a slightly urban edge, but he was pretty attractive, and I liked his profile. We started chatting, and honestly - I wasn't really feeling him. He used very short-handed text (which I dislike) and his tone was also....urban (aka - not very good English).

But then he told me his first name. It was so unusual, and sounded made up. I decided it was worth meeting him just to see if it was really his first name.

We met at a place with counter service, for drinks. I was looking to keep it informal, and non-committed because honestly - I didn't see this going anywhere. That turned out to be an excellent choice.

He was very nice; polite, easy to talk with, fun, considerate...all the things a guy should be.

He also took four phone calls in the hour that we sat together - which is amazing when you consider that he is unemployed. He rolled up in a luxury sedan wearing more bling than I (which, if you know me, is no small task) - and he's unemployed. His kids are grown - but something is going on that is so important he has to take that many phone calls.

"What did you do?" I asked, thinking maybe he made a lot of money when he was working.

Social services was his answer. Trust me - no one in the line of work he mentioned is getting rich.

OK - so he's unemployed, rolling in luxury, and came from a modest living. He takes phone calls that are too important to let be for an hour.

I assumed he must be either a pimp, a dealer, or a bookie.

As it turns out, he had even more drama. He told me he owned a house in the same city I live. "Well - I used to own a house. Now I live in an apartment. I lost my house because I got a DWI a few years ago and had to go to prison."

I beg your pardon?


"That's not really me," he said. "I was depressed. My wife gave birth to a child who was obviously not mine; I found out in the delivery room. You probably know my wife..." Then he went on to (publicly) name a local celebrity to whom he was once married.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted - but it does validate my preference for first dates where there is a quick, easy exit.

In case you're wondering - yes, the funky name is really his first name, and no, we did not ever have a second date. Dude's too busy, and I never date anyone who has better accessories than I.