For those keeping track at home - things are basically still the same between Turtle and me. Well - to be fair and accurate - our status has not changed. We did have a chance to have a long conversation. While we didn't walk away as a "couple" or anything, I walked away with a much better understanding of where he's coming from, and his concerns. He's still "sorting through things" and I'm still "giving him time."
I know some people think I should cut this off. The uncertainty isn't fair to me. Admittedly, it doesn't make me happy - and I deserve to be happy. It would be nice if it was as simple as "Do you want to date? Check yes or no." But it isn't that easy - at least not for him.
Here's the thing....
I can't even describe how happy this guy makes me. When I'm with him, all I do is laugh. When I think of him, all I do is smile. Do I ever have doubts? Yes. But they are way more about me than about him. I know I have every right to protect my feelings. But I also refuse to let my own self doubt and insecurity get in the way of something my gut says could be amazing.
The advice to walk away makes sense. Honestly, it's likely the advice I'd give, if someone else were in my shoes. But my gut says something totally different.
So, I've decided to keep stuff a little closer to my heart, at least for now. I know this can't go on forever. I also know that while I figure out that time frame, it could resolve itself (one way or another). In the meantime, I don't want to miss out on enjoying one minute of my time with him.