Tuesday, April 15, 2014

All roads

So, I haven't been meeting anyone. I'm super-busy with other stuff in my life, and dating has taken a back, back burner.

But there's one guy who has always kept coming back. At first it was annoying...then it became amusing.

The thing is, the last few months....I also keep going back. I have reached out to him more than once to reconnect, even if it's just to say hi and check in. We haven't seen each other since January-ish.

I have no illusions about who he is or what he wants. He can be a difficult guy, and he has not seemed open to the idea of any sort of committed, long-term relationship.

But no matter who else I meet, or how good (or bad) dating seems to be going - he's always on my mind. It's like all roads lead to this guy, and no matter how hard I try to get away, I end up right back where I started.

I like the idea that people can be meant for each other. I do believe everyone we meet serves a purpose in our life.  But I don't believe a strong attraction or even a real connection is enough to sustain a lasting relationship.

Eventually, you have to work out the logistics. We don't like to talk about it, because it's not all romantic and draped in fantasy, but things like personality differences, religion, politics, geography can all impact relationships in a big way.

I've always figured me and this guy had great attraction and a great connection, but logistics would prevent us from having a successful relationship. Yet I can't get this person out of my brain.

Which is a logistic pretty tough to ignore.


  1. Interesting...

    Personality Differences - You never want someone 100% like you. That's boring. Unless the personality difference is that he likes to burn ants with a magnifying glass.. than that's a NO-GO.

    Religion - I have belief, my fiance does not. At all. We respect each others views, and makes for pretty epic conversations.

    Politics - As long as you (or this other person) doesn't force your political views on the other... I don't see a real problem.

    Geography - Yup.. that's one I can't rationalize... at all...

  2. I have to wonder if he's on your mind for the very reason that he's not open to what you're ultimately looking for in a partner.

    Also, I've often thought of a particular ex through the years (before that guy I married) and he and I were in touch and both single, but every time we went "there" it became quickly apparent why we shouldn't. Eventually we both met other people and like them better than each other so it worked out. Perhaps you just need a connection to someone to take up the space he's taking in your brain?