Monday, December 17, 2012

It's raining

In many ways, my life is cyclical. Either there's nothing going on - or everything is happening all at once.

Some might guess this is because my astrological sign is Cancer, which is ruled by the moon, which of course is cyclical. Others might guess it's because I'm a woman, and we're also cyclical. Some might say it's because that's how it is for everyone.

I say I really don't care why it happens...but for whatever reason, when it rains in my life - it freakin' pours.

That's never more true than when it comes to dating. I go through long stretches where I meet no one and am ready to adopt 18 cats. Then, out of nowhere, someone pulls a plug on the black hole, and all the guys fall out and land in a heaping pile smack in the middle of my nice, calm, quiet, happy little existence.


That's what happened at the beginning of the month. In one day, I got an email from a guy I went out with once three years ago (pre-Big), another guy who I had talked with before Trooper but never actually met in person - and this guy. I also got a message from a guy on Match who I thought had gone away (not this one, another one), and a guy on Plenty of Fish started calling me again, after we hadn't talked in a while.

That was one weekend. See what I'm saying? Pour-ing....

....and I haven't even mentioned the new guy I met the next day.

I'll admit the attention is good for my ego - but not much else. It makes life busy and complicated and stressful. I'm worried that I'll lead someone on, or that I'll meet a few people who seem right - and then pursue the wrong one. I'm worried that no one will end up liking me, and I'll feel let down.

I would much prefer to meet one person at a time, see how it goes, and then if it doesn't work out, replace him with the next. A nice, organized, calm, orderly love-life.

The thing is, life doesn't always give us what we prefer. It gives us what we need, and often that arrives in the form of a lesson to be learned, in preparation for something bigger.

So I can let myself get caught up in the rain, and all stressed out, and worry if I'll make a mistake, and eventually just chicken out and avoid the whole thing. Or I can take a breath and realize that the storm was sent for a reason, and if I push through, there's probably something even better for me on the other side.

Time to grab my umbrella.

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