Thursday, September 12, 2013

Heart bruises

The last of the "several guys" is a man I met a couple months ago. Technically, we went out a few times - then he went on a business trip and I didn't see him for six weeks. We kept in touch during that time, but obviously, it was just friendly and casual.

The thing about this guy, is it will always just be casual. Traveling for work is a way of life for him (he's gone six months or more out of the year). When he's not traveling for work, he travels to see friends. When he's not doing that, he's visiting his kids (who live about 2 hours away).

Not a lot of time to give a date, and not a lot of time to develop anything more than a casual relationship.
Found it here

I knew that going in, and like the other guy I talked about, I was fine. At first.

In the meantime, I met several other guys who were unwilling to give me any time or priority. I think that helped me realize how much I value when someone gives me his time, and makes me a priority.

This guy (we'll call him Waldo) isn't in a position to do any of that. All he can offer is down-time from work. On his schedule, and his terms.

So, I told him that doesn't work for me. He told me it's all he can offer, and he hopes things don't have to change. I told him they do because the current arrangement results in my feelings getting hurt, which can't continue.

And that was that.

It ended on friendly terms, and I'm sure we'll keep in touch, and maybe see each other again some time.

Though it was technically me who ended things, it still felt a little like rejection. I couldn't help the thought (fleeting, but still) that maybe he'd admit he has feelings for me too, and want to actually try.

Of course I knew better, and we hadn't known each other long enough or well enough for my heart to break.

Just a little bruised.

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