I met one of the guys weeks ago on Plenty of Fish. He's a nice enough guy, but seemed a little off. I wasn't able to read him, and he came across as a little arrogant. He was persistent, though, so we kept talking.
We made plans to see each other on a Friday night...but he wouldn't commit to a time or place because he had "tentative plans" with friends. I finally just said let's do it another time, not wanting to interfere with his time with friends - or be kept waiting.
A couple weeks later, he asked me to go out (again, on a Friday). I asked him to let me know what he had in mind, and I never heard from him. When I called him on that, he said he'd tried to get in touch with me. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and we went out the next night.
Turns out, this is his pattern. He makes tentative plans, then waits until the last minute to firm things up. I told him more than once that really doesn't work for me. I'm better when there's a plan.
So on our last date, I asked him again. He said he sees no reason to make plans because they usually fall through anyway - because something else comes up. I told him that comes across as him not wanting to commit to plans with me in case something better comes along.
To his credit (or not?), he did not deny that is the case.
Like I said, I don't need to be a top priority all of the time - just some of the time. Once in a while. Certainly, I don't think it's asking too much to make (and keep) plans with me several hours in advance. It's not like I've whipped out my 2014 planner or anything.
I admired his candor - he was willing to admit that he is selfish, and arrogant, and that - even if we actually had plans - I still wouldn't be top priority. He also admitted that he plays a little game, trying to see if a woman will go out of her way to see him, to make sure she really likes him.
I admired his candor - but you can probably imagine that was our last date.