30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 29

Today's blogging challenge: Who is your closest or most special friend that you've never met, and what do they mean to you? How did you cross paths? Talk about how you "met" - Facebook, Twitter, an online support group, etc. 

Sometimes I think it's easier to connect with someone online because we tend to be more "ourselves" when we're behind the keyboard. We feel less vulnerable, and therefore more free to share who we really are.

I think that's one reason why online dating is my go-to way for meeting new dates. I am so bad at flirting in person (more to follow on that). I am always worried about looking foolish, or saying the wrong thing, or bursting into tears when I get rejected.

When you approach someone in person, the reaction is immediate. You have to stand there and let him say (or not say) whatever he's going to say. It's like time stands sill, and you're trapped in that spot - and he has all the control.

But when I email someone online, there's none of that. I type the email, click send, and then move on with my life. Either I hear back from him, or I don't - either way, I'm on to the next thing. Rejection is much more passive, and I feel far less exposed.

Plus, if I try to approach a guy in person, there's the issue of getting tongue-tied. That's not a problem when I approach online. I can type and retype the email as many times as it takes to get it right. But in person flirting? You only get one chance - and I usually blow it.

Oh, and yes...in case you didn't notice, I am cleverly (or not-so-cleverly) avoiding the actual question in today's challenge. Most of the people I've met online have turned into in-person friends...there are a few that have not. Yet. They're all important to me in different ways, and I don't want to choose just one.

30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 28

Today's blogging challenge: Describe a moment when you made a big, bold move. Could be in any area of life: Career, love, etc.

Big, bold moves aren't really my style. I'm more a small, calculated move kinda gal.

I'd say my divorce was a big, bold move - but to be fair, the move wasn't mine. I suppose creating this blog, or blogging elsewhere were bold-ish moves - but certainly not big.

Same is true of my recent entrance into the direct sales world - a big move, but certainly not bold.

I am selling my house next year. That will be a big move - and I can't wait.

30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 27

Today's blogging challenge: Talk about something that you really, really love about yourself. 

For me, this is a tough one. Like many women, I've spent years learning to focus on those things about myself that I don't like - what I need to change, improve, or hide. We're taught not to like ourselves and wave away compliments.

Which is kind of sad, if you think about it. We're all unique, and fabulous in our own way. We should celebrate our differences, and our quirks, and love ourselves - flaws and all. Instead, we convince ourselves that if we're not like everyone else, there's something wrong.

So, something I really, really love about myself?

I like that I know how to forgive. I think it often seems like I let others roll over me sometimes, and take advantage. My kindness is probably seen as weakness, but that's not how I see it.

I see the ability to forgive as a strength. I see my ability to choose my battles as a sign of maturity and wisdom.

No matter how many times people (and I mean men, as well as friends and family) treat me poorly or hurt my feelings, I keep forgiving. I believe people are good, and deserve a chance.

I also believe that the way they treat me is their karma - and how I react is my own.

30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 26

Today's blogging challenge: Name a song that makes you cry every time you here it, and tell why. 

I don't really have "sad" songs. Music isn't that big a deal to me. I just listen to whatever is on the radio; when it's gone, so is my interest, pretty much.

At some point while we were dating, Trooper posted a YouTube video of a nice R&B song (the name and artist have since been blocked from my memory) on my Facebook timeline. I thought that was so sweet and, you know, obviously it meant he liked me (which is clearly not always true), so I thought it might be nice if I offered a similar gesture (this is likely why I'm not nice to men anymore). 

So I posted a video on Trooper's timeline - Uncle Kracker's "You Make Me Smile." So for a while, I couldn't listen to that song when it came on.

I'm over that now.

But boys still have cooties.

30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 25

Today's blogging challenge: Describe a moment when you "paid it forward." What happened and how did it feel? 

Admittedly, I'm a typical only child. I am very, very spoiled; I strongly prefer to get my own way (and can be a bit of a pain when I don't), and I don't share well.

My closest friends say I'm "too good of a person" to be described as selfish. That's probably because I'm not (usually) selfish with my friendship, my honesty, or even my resources. Need money? If I have it, it's yours. Need time, or advice? I always have that to give. A shoulder to cry on? Anytime.

But try to borrow my stuff, or ask me to share my space - and we might have a problem.

But I do like to pay it forward. I have to admit, I've never done one of those things where I purchase the order for the person behind me in the drive-thru, or paid for the breakfast of the service men (or women) I see in the diner. I'm always tempted - but I get all tongue-tied in those situations and I feel like I'd mess it up, or look like a jackass.

I do volunteer a lot. I got into that after Trooper broke up with me, because I thought a positive distraction would be better than simply spending the summer eating my weight in fried dough. Between fundraising, outreach for Planned Parenthood, and Big Sister duties, I'm pretty busy.

Over the summer, I was working a table for Planned Parenthood at a county fair (a staple of summer life in Upstate New York). Tabling for Planned Parenthood can be iffy sometimes - though PP is really just a healthcare organization, their mere presence can stir controversy, because they lobby for women's reproductive rights (abortion, morning after pill, birth control) and are outwardly LBGT-friendly.

Sometimes, I think the people who schedule these events get a kick out of placing our table near the most right-wing group they can find, just to see what might happen. I know some of my counterparts have been in heated "discussions" with people at different events. I, personally, have been approached by church groups - but I can be good at ignoring people, and not adding fuel to the fire (sometimes).

But this day at the fair, the reception was actually quite positive. Most of the people who approached the table were very nice, polite, and interested. A few came to the table just to say they were happy to see us there.

One woman asked if I worked for PP. When I told her I was a volunteer, she thanked me. She said she used to work for a PP, and she knew how important volunteer help was in spreading the message. She said she had seen what some volunteers put up with, but she hoped we all remembered that if being there changed one person's mind, or put much-needed information into someone's hand, then in a way, just sitting there for a few hours could be life-changing.

I realized - she's right. You never know how your actions are impacting another. So if you take just a little time to inspire others to do good, or educate, or provide support (even if you don't realize it) - what seems like such a little thing to you could be HUGE to someone else.

That's a feeling that even this selfish, spoiled-brat wouldn't trade for all the stuff in the world.

30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 24

Today's blogging challenge: If you could relive one day of your life, what would it be? Would you change anything?

I don't really like this challenge. Not because I can't think of a day I'd like to relive, or changes I'd like to make.

I just prefer to think that things happen the way they're meant to. I like to think that there's some sort of grand plan, or even just a layout, in place, and everything that happens is a part of that journey.

If that's true, and a person goes back and monkeys with events that have already happened, then the entire course of events that took place after could also be altered. That sounds like it could be bad news. I mean - if I'm where I'm supposed to be, and everything that's happened up until now is part of how I got here, then going back and changing things could have catastrophic consequences, right?

Then again, if this is all part of some grand design, then I guess if I changed one thing, the designer would switch a couple other things, and I'd end up right where I'm supposed to be, anyway, right?

Either way, I prefer to leave things just as they are - the good, the bad, and the not-so-pretty.

30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 23

Today's blogging challenge: Talk about a moment when you got annoyed with a married friend, a person in a relationship, or a person with kids.

This happens now and then. Most of my friends are in committed relationships (married or otherwise) and most of them have kids. I have two friends with situations similar to mine, and neither of them live near me. So my life is very, very different from those friends with whom I spend a lot of time.

I get a lot of relationship advice. Things I need to change in order to find a relationship, and things I need to change in order to keep a relationship going. The advice usually comes in the form of links to articles about dating, or relationships. Occasionally, I get links to articles about how to live happily without a relationship.

To be clear, I get this is all well-intended advice. My friends love me, they're concerned for my happiness, and just want to see me get all they think I deserve.

But it can still be frustrating to constantly be told how your lifestyle and choices are all wrong.