Monday, January 9, 2012

Having a healthy attitude when using a dating site

Below is a post from Cara Michaels, a blogger for OnlineDatingSites.net. Cara's friends and family constantly seek her out for dating advice, and she has taken her knowledge and experience to the web. She responded to my open invitation for guest posts. 

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Many people visit dating sites for all the wrong reasons.  Maybe they’re lonely, or they have just ended a long-term relationship and find it hard to be single.  These are certainly not the greatest reasons to start using a dating site. If you are sincerely hoping to find a partner for the long-term from a dating site, there are plenty of success stories that show it can be done.  But it doesn’t take someone waving a magic wand to make it happen.  You have to be in the right mind space to be ready for online dating.  Then, and only then, will you be open and able to make the right type of connections that dating sites can offer.

We have all heard the adage that you can only find love when you love yourself first.  This happens to be absolutely true.  In order to attract a significant other into your life, you need to feel good about yourself.  If you don’t, why should anyone else?  If you’re feeling sad, betrayed, depressed, or any other negative emotion, why would someone new want to spend time with you?  You’re a bummer to be around.  Put your emotional life in order before you begin your prowl on the dating sites.  Once you have the energy and the optimistic attitude going for you, you’ll feel better about dating, and you will certainly yield more results that way.

Loneliness gets a bad rap, because let’s face it…being alone can be very painful.  But if you have just ended a long-term relationship, a certain amount of loneliness is to be expected.  After all you’re in a grieving period.  Why do you want to rush right into a new relationship with someone you don’t even know? That takes a tremendous amount of energy.  Do yourself a favor, and sit with the loneliness for awhile.  Gather together some of your best pals and start spending quality time with your friends.  If you’re lucky enough to have some good friends in your life, no one can make you feel better than they can.  You don’t have to be out there attempting to have some wild social life when you don’t feel like it.  Take time to heal before you put yourself back out into the dating world.

Once you’re feeling better about yourself, and your attitude toward the opposite sex is healthier, than you can start perusing some of the many dating sites out there.  It’s difficult to step back into that world once you’ve been out of it for awhile…so go slow! You don’t have to rush anything that doesn’t feel right to you.  The most important thing to remember is that dating is supposed to be fun.  If it starts to feel like a chore, than you’re definitely not ready.  

16 comments:

  1. *nods*

    Needed these words today.
    Thank you.

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  2. I find it funny how I started dating the love my life ( from an online dating site) when I first moved to a place where I knew no one, was totally alone, and in a horrible place it my life. It can be done!

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  3. All this is fascinating to me - I have no experience with online dating so very ineresting to read about. Thanks.

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  4. "But it doesn’t take someone waving a magic wand to make it happen." This sentence really resonated with me. I've been considering online dating for very long, but didn't make the jump into it till just this week! And it's hard! It takes courage and effort....
    I decided to make a blog about my own experiences - also that way there was no excuses not to do anything about it!

    http://stumblingintodating.blogspot.com/

    Please read it if you would like to feel like you are not alone in sometimes feeling like a fool :)

    ReplyDelete
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