Wednesday, February 22, 2012

What to do when you're in love with your best friend

A while back, I issued an open call for guest posts. I'm still getting responses (thanks, everyone) and working my way through them. A busy-blogger's dream-come-true.

This guest post comes to us from Sabrina Jackson, a guest post contributor who enjoys writing about dating and relationships. In addition, Sabrina also owns Free Dating Sites, where she focuses on educating singles about safe methods of online dating.  


You’ve been best friends for what seems like forever, he’s the one you call about any and all happenings in your life, and he knows everything about you from the scar on your left pinky toe to your embarrassing and borderline inappropriate obsession with Justin Bieber. 

Well, he knows everything except for the tiny fact that you have feelings for him (your friend, not the Biebs) that are more than friendly. And if these feelings for your best guy friend are growing increasingly stronger as each day passes to the point where all you can do is daydream of his perfect smile, his unwavering ability to make any bad day right and the rush of unabated bliss that his laugh has the power to inflict upon you, then you very well could be on the brink of going crazy. 

Because of the implications that come with harboring such a high-risk crush, you are probably confused and unsure of how to handle the situation. So that you don’t continue living in such a tortured existence, be sure to check out the following tips for dealing with being in love with your best friend:

Analyze the situation. Stop going back and forth in your mind and come to a decision to either accept merely a friendship or to take the plunge and tell him how you feel. If he is already involved with someone else, it’s best to leave it alone. However, if he’s single, think about your feelings and if they are strong enough to warrant the chance of possibly losing him as a friend if he isn’t on board the same love boat as you. Look for hints and clues that he might be interested in exploring things with you in a romantic way—if signs point to yes, then what are you waiting for?  

Be honest with him. Telling your friend your true feelings is no doubt difficult—the chance of rejection is terrifying, and the possible loss of a friendship if he doesn’t feel the same way can be even harder to face. But if you really feel strongly about this person, it is best to be honest so that you don’t have to continually ask yourself “what if?” He might be taken off guard by your revelation so if he needs time and space to soak it all in, be sure to give it to him. Communicate to him that there is no pressure and respect his feelings either way that he wishes to take them.

Explain that you want to remain friends. If the conversation where you confess your undying love and devotion doesn’t go as planned, do your best to hold it together. Even though this isn’t the outcome for which you hoped, if you can handle continuing a relationship that is defined strictly as friends, explain to him that the friendship is important to you and that you’d like to salvage it. Things might be awkward for a while, but with time and sensitivity on both ends, things can get back to normal.

Take it slow. Should your best friend tell you that he has feelings for you too, that is great news!  Some of the greatest and strongest relationships start with a friendship—and most likely, since you are already comfortable with one another, the transition from friends to more than friends should be an easy one. But like any relationship, it is crucial to take things slowly so that you don’t get in over your heads when changing up the dynamic to which the two of you have been accustomed. Have fun getting to know each other in a new way and see where it leads!


Thanks, Sabrina!


  1. I've been on the other side of this... where my best friend LOVED me... and well, I didn't love him like that...

    This post is very accurate and helpful.

    Lots of love.

  2. What;s not mentioned is the possibility that you guys have feeling for each other but have no idea how to take the relationship to the next level. Been there done that attended the funeral. We ended up going our separate ways to very sad people.

    There should be a manual for things like that. Seriously, because you shouldn't have to loose your friend to a relationship just because something doesn't click.

    1. thats very ture i may just be a teenager but i know wat love is and releshinships r just that confusing

  3. Small bits of content which are explained in details, helps me understand the dating, thank you!

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