People keep asking how I feel about blogging about my relationship with Trooper, now that he knows about the site. In fact, Trooper even commented that maybe I should have kept the site a secret; that knowing he can see what's here might keep me from being completely honest.
The truth is, it's not an easy balance. On the one hand, writing about us and him when he didn't know made me feel like I was lying. I'm a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them. But, knowing he might read what I have to say does make me more cautious about what I share.
Does that mean the blog suffers? Well, only you can make that judgement. I share personal stories when they make sense; mostly, I try to share my perspective on how it feels to transition from being a practically-professional singleton to - someone in a relationship. It's not the most difficult thing I've ever done - but it's not exactly easy, either.
One rule of thumb I'm trying to enforce is that I don't put it here until I've talked with him. So my most personal, private, intimate thoughts? That's tough. There are times when I'm hurt by something he says or does, or worried about where things stand. I over-think, over-analyze and generally over-worry things to death. It'd be nice to write about those feelings; sort through them, hear other opinions, etc. But if I'm not ready to talk with him - it seems like I really shouldn't be sharing here, either.
I don't think it matters how new a relationship is - or how good, or how easy. There will always be times when you wonder; there will always be questions, and concerns, and things you're just not sure how to say.
When I have those questions, if anything, I think having the blog forces me to work through them, and to keep the lines of communication open. So in that sense - I think having a blog is actually helping my relationship.
Of course - it's important to tread carefully.
Besides, the internet is a big place. There's more than one little corner for my not-quite-ready-for-Trooper thoughts. *wink*
Internet sure is a big place.
ReplyDeleteBut, I'm more than certain Klay comes by my blog every once in a while...
And, He knows that I'm honest with him, but sometimes I need to work it out better in my head...
Keep writing.
No matter where ...
LOVE THIS BLOG!
Let me just say this...my wife is the one who hit the publish button on last night's post. I am always honest with her. So there really is no need for me to "hide" anything from her.
ReplyDeleteShe reads every blog post and is okay with me putting it out there. I say blog it and let him read it. Perhaps it may help him understand you even more. Don't hold back anything. Honesty is everything.