Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Age matters

I prefer dating older guys. I've tried dating younger, and it never works (Remember Gardner?!). Of course there's an exception to every rule. It obviously comes down to a man's personality and character, but in general...age definitely matters.

I like the fact that older men are usually pretty confident. They don't have the same hang-ups and insecurities I often see in younger guys. I also like that most older guys are more secure. I'm nearly 40 (sigh) so a lot of the guys I date are late forties or even fifty. These are generally not guys still moving from job to job, trying to decide what they want to do. Another big plus is that men this age are not looking to have kids, and if they have kids, they are almost always older.

Most men that age are settled - in their career, family, and home. They have a certain amount of security, which translates into confidence. They know what they want, and how to get it. They also are often very chivalrous, and treat me in a way I don't find with younger guys. Thirty-five year-olds don't know they should walk on the outside of the sidewalk.

I know most of my friends feel differently. They find older guys to be dull or too set in their ways. Some women I know just don't like the idea that they are "old enough" to date a guy of a certain age. It makes them feel older.

I'd be lying if I said there aren't some drawbacks to older men. They tend to think they know everything - and certainly more than me, given my age. They often have an old-fashioned view of relationships - men are the head of a household, women should do the cooking, etc. Younger guys are certainly less attached to traditional gender roles, and more open-minded and flexible.

Older men are sometimes so set in their ways that forming a solid relationship is tough, if not impossible. They've often been single for so long, being a part of a couple is totally foreign.

That's when it comes back to individual personality and character. What a person wants, how he treats me and others, his goals and beliefs and sense of humor are all more important than his age.

Maybe I need someone right in the middle?


  1. Interesting. I'm 50 and am not at all committed to any job, for good reasons. Although I know what thingS I enjoy doing for work I'm not decided at all with one specific vocation in fact I'm not success-identified with my work at all. I'm not looking to have children. Point for you. My children are somewhat older. Two. I'm not at all settled in my home. I guess you could say I know what I want and how to get it within limits. Three for you. I'm quite certain I'm chivalrous, it's an age thing, but I walk where I end up siding. I've been called dull in so many words but she was 42 going on 22 . . . I don't think I know everything but when with a much younger partner I certainly could come off that way . . . without intention. I consider myself equal in any partnership and enjoy cooking. I'm quite comfortable with changing gender roles and consider gender a fluid trait. I'm quite open minded and flexible tho' I used to be the opposite just ten years past. I've not found myself the one unready to form a solid relation but the opposite but the longer I'm single the less I think I will do so. I have simple goals, no beliefs and a fetching soh once known. I think I won ya!

    1. See, that's why I say it ultimately comes down to an individual's character.

      I'd say you're definitely the exception to the men I'm describing (who are all between 4t and 50).