Thursday, March 6, 2014

Dating coach

I'm one of those people who changes purses and jackets often. As a result, I'm constantly finding pocket-size information that was stuffed somewhere and forgotten.

This morning I found a business card for a Dating Coach who passed out information at a speed dating event I attended. I never spoke with her, but I remember noticing a few people hanging around at the end to talk with her.

I got to thinking... I wonder what a dating coach would say to me?

The thing that probably frustrates me most with dating is meeting people who want something very different from what I want. No matter how great a guy might seem, if you want different things, it just won't work.

What might a coach say about that? I think she'd suggest that I need to be upfront about what I want, and not settle for guys who want any less. I agree - but I find that challenging.

What I want is a relationship - but, I shy away from saying so because men often think that means a woman wants a relationship right that second.

While I do want a relationship, I do not want to rush right into one. I want to meet someone with potential for long-term, get to know him, see if we have a connection, and continue dating and allow that connection to grow, hopefully into something long-term.

But, if I say that, a guy will stop listening after, I don't want to rush into a relationship. He hears that and thinks he's hit the jackpot - a woman who wants the "benefits" of a relationship without the commitment. Of course, he agrees that he "wants the same" - when really he doesn't. What I end up with is a relationship based on a misunderstanding, which goes about as well as you'd expect.

So, I can't say that, either. Which is fine, I'm not looking to mislead or confuse anyone. My problem is if honesty doesn't work, I'm stumped. It made me wonder what a dating coach might suggest.

Then I wondered...what might you suggest?

1 comment:

  1. #1 Most guys KNOW women want a relationship at some point and unless a woman says otherwise it's a given. Perhaps just enjoy your experiences with men until you either find a deal breaker or find that your deal breakers have changed or find that you've found 'him'. Looking back at previous possibilities is wasted energy (unless you chance upon a 'previous'), just as looking forward to future possibilities is. Stay present. Focus you attention on the next person before you when you're with him. Everyone deserves the complete attention of their dates during a date. Let what may come happen and deal with as it does. :-)