Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Endless emails

There are a lot of side effects of online dating. Since you meet someone on a dating site, eventually, you have to give out some sort of contact information. It's usually an email, but since everyone texts these days, it might be your cell number.

But what do you really know about this person with whom you're sharing? Not a whole lot - only what they've shared with you online or in their profile. Of course, sometimes he will move too fast - but what happens if he moves too slow? 

The endless email. 

I'm currently involved in two of these. It's been a couple of weeks - I'm starting to feel as though I've met two pen pals, rather than potential dates.

One guy has an excuse - we live about 80 miles apart, and we happened to meet at a time when he had plans for several weekends in a row. Totally understandable and cool. 

The other guy? I suggested that maybe we meet for coffee - you know, something nice and casual where we could just decide if it should go further - but still an actual date. His response was that we should "chat" before we meet.

But of course he was on vacation when we met. Then we had a "date" for him to call - and he didn't (he said he had to go in to work early). But we've been emailing this whole time, so my question is - what does he need to learn that he hasn't already? What will talking on the phone show him, that meeting in person wouldn't? 

I guess there are some safety or privacy concerns - but the truth is, nowadays, the bigger concern there is sharing your email and/or phone number. Meeting in person, there's no contact after (unless you want there to be). 

My thought? He's worried that there will be a rejection - and rejection is easier to take/do over the phone. Which, in my opinion, is a sign of someone who lacks some of the character I'm looking for in a guy. Sure, it's awkward to get rejected/reject someone - and anything awkward is harder to handle in person. 

But it's part of dating. Seems to me, if you're not mature enough to handle the awkward, you really have no business dating in the first place. 


1 comment:

  1. I had a guy once tell me that he wanted to "chat" longer and not meet after a couple of weeks. I told him I wasn't into that and didn't want a pen pal. Shortly after, I ran into him with a girl I knew through someone else and they were clearly together. Turns out they were having a "rough patch" and he wanted some attention and another option, but didn't want to "cheat". Stupid Boy.