Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A new direction

He first contacted me through a dating site on a Thursday. Remember that he contacted me first; that's important.

We exchanged email addresses, and I sent him a note telling him that while I don't mind a little email/text exchange, I really prefer to just meet for a casual date (coffee, a quick drink, whatever) rather than get caught in the endless email.

On Saturday, he replied that he would like that, and we made plans to meet later in the week.

On Sunday - one day after we made our date, three days after he contacted me - I got an email that read:
I'm going to have to cancel our meeting. I've met someone and have decided to go in that direction. I hope I didn't waste your time.
It could be me, but...

If you're so involved with someone else that you're within days of making the decision to not see anyone else - why would you be contacting people on a dating sites, and setting up dates?

If you've just met someone - why are you already so involved that you're cancelling plans to have coffee with someone who is, at this point, just an acquaintance (or not even)?

Why do you feel the need to offer an excuse or explanation like this to someone you haven't met, and who you clearly have no interest in getting to know?

Who refers to dates as "meetings?"

If you're this socially inept and awkward, why on earth are you dating at all? You should be focused on fixing your own issues; they'll get in the way of that new relationship faster than coffee with me ever could.


  1. I wondered the same thing because 4 guys in a row used a similar line with me. My (now) friend MG (who was one of them) told me later that he had hung out with her a few times while still on the site (and talking to me) and then one night it just clicked with her (personally, I think she might have put out and he's the type to get attached after that first time). He loved chatting with me and being buddies, but wanted to date her.

    Turns out he wants someone like her (RE: needy and wants to be taken care of) and he's the kind of guy to do it. Not for me.

    I guess sometimes it just does that, clicks. I know I've met guys and there was definite interest on both parts to see if there was more there quickly...I've just rarely been one to keep all my eggs in one basket.

  2. That would be understandable. That's why I never assume that anyone online isn't seeing someone else. I figure it's open season - until it's not, ya know?

    And if we'd been talking for a while, then made a date and he quickly cancelled, I could see that being the case. But this all happened within 3 days. Just seemed odd.

    It's cool - a friend needs help that night anyway, which is a better use of my time then pretending to enjoy over-priced hot chocolate in 95 degree heat. ;)