Wednesday, July 20, 2011

When should a date become a friend?

I've opened up my personal facebook a lot in the last year. Still, I have some rules guidelines preferences about who to add, and when.

I've been emailing this guy who lives long distance for a few weeks now. We have tentative plans to meet in a couple of weeks - but he wasn't even willing to commit to that date, instead saying he'll "keep me posted" on his schedule. I really don't like feeling like I'm his back-up plan; if nothing better comes up, he'll meet me.

But I digress....

So, we've been emailing and we have these "plans" to meet. Obviously, all we are at this point is casual acquaintances. He knows I am big into social networking, and I was nice enough to send him an invite to Google+, because we'd been talking about it, and I knew he was chomping at the bit to get in there and see what it was all about.

Yesterday morning, I woke to find a request in my email - Long-Distance-Guy (LDG) wants to be friends on facebook.


I have all kinds of friends in my facebook. Guys who are exes; guys who were never more than friends; and those in-between guys. You know, we tried to date, but before it ever really got anywhere, we realized the connection just wasn't there. We stayed friends because, well, just because the romantic part of our relationship didn't work, doesn't mean this person isn't meant to be in my life.

But I've also met guys, attempted to date, and had it turn out poorly. These are guys who never made it to the friend stage, and once the dating was over, there was no real reason to stay in touch. Not necessarily hard feelings (only sometimes), but also not someone who needs to see my status updates or photos from my birthday party, either.

The problem is - I don't yet know which of these guys LDG will end up. With all this emailing, I assume he'll be someone I want to add - but I'm not ready.

My two major concerns? Obviously, giving him access to personal stuff when I don't really "know" him. But also, I'm concerned that my profile might not be "dating ready." I don't want to put myself on lock-down until I really know if he's worth it - but I also don't want to jeopardize things if he is.

What do you think? When do you add a "new guy" to your facebook friends?

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