A few weeks back, I got an email from a guy who I'd never met. He'd been on a dating site for some time, without success. After finding, and reading, my blog, he was wondering if maybe I could help him. He asked if I'd be willing to critique his dating profile.
First, I have to say - I give this guy major credit. Most of the men I find online don't even want to take the time to proofread their own profile, let alone seek out and approach a perfect stranger for help. As far as I was concerned, this guy was already light-years ahead of his competition, and I told him as much.
Intrigued, I agreed to look at his profile, and offer any help I could.
At first glance - and second, and third - I felt bad. In a word, his profile is fabulous. It's articulate, well-written, and gives just enough detail. He's a smart, successful man in his late twenties, with a solid education, career and background. (As far as I could tell, his only real flaw was that he lives nowhere near upstate NY. :shrugs:)
I wrote him back and apologized, saying I wished I could be more help. Then I asked him a couple of questions:
Do you have more dates when you do the approaching, or when approached?He's that guy - the one for whom most every girl is searching. Smart, successful, nice, charming and handsome.
Which do you do more often - contact others, or wait for them to make the first move?
It would take an incredibly confident woman to approach him - or even to respond to his emails. I suspected that he was not confident enough in himself to always approach the women he liked - and I suspected a lot of women would not have the courage to approach him.
While my new friend said he thought he'd pretty much balanced the number of times he contacted first, versus when a woman contacted him, he did say he had more luck on dates with the woman who emailed him first. Which made sense to me - they'd be the more confident, and therefore probably had more in common with him.
But that didn't change the fact that he'd had limited success on this dating site, and what he really, truly wants is to find love.
So what's a guy to do?
To be continued....