I didn't communicate well with Big. I won't even bother blaming that on him, either. The truth is - I just wasn't good at verbalizing what I was thinking and feeling where he was concerned. I was always worried I would make him angry, or give him an excuse to end things.
I've obviously grown a bit since then, and with Gardner, I am enjoying what is (so far) a much more open, honest and upfront relationship. It's different, it's exciting, and it feels right.
I don't have a lot of secrets. I don't have any baggage or drama from past relationships; no health concerns; no kids or criminal charges that I "forgot" to mention. No bankruptcies, no bench warrants, no divorces that aren't finalized. This time, I don't even have any other guys that I'm seeing that I need to keep secret.
Nothing. Zero. Zilch.
The blog? I don't announce to the world that I am the author over here. If I did, it would make my semi-anonymity a little silly. It hasn't been an issue, since I haven't dated anyone long enough, or seriously enough, to have to tell.
Gardner is something a little more...serious. I don't necessarily feel like it's so serious that I owe him an explanation right now - but I feel like it could get to a point where I'd have to fess up. Thing is, if I don't do that now, at what point will it feel like a betrayal that I didn't tell him sooner?
I shoulda stuck with cats.