Friday, March 2, 2012

Roses aren't cheap

"Who needs flowers and chocolate when you can get groceries?" 

My friend said that to me when talking about a guy she was dating, who would bring food over, and cook.

Now, I tend to agree with her. I don't cook, and I hate to grocery shop, so if a guy shows up with groceries, I'm a happy camper. Of course, I also like flowers. And chocolate. And shiny things....

{My friend is much lower maintenance than I. Any guy she dates is lucky.}

Whether you prefer groceries or roses, the conversation brings up an interesting point. A lot of people make assumptions about what their other will want, based on previous relationships, or advice from friends, or even commercials. 

The truth is, every person is different. Just because that last woman you dated loved roses doesn't mean your current girlfriend feels the same. Just because your last boyfriend hated talking on the phone doesn't mean your next might not love long conversations. We get so caught up in expectations of what a peron will want, we sometimes forget to pay attention to what they actually like.  

That's unfortunate, because that attention can be the difference between knowing when someone is happy, needs reassurance, or is scared - and being totally clueless, and helpless to save our own relationship. 

The best dating advice you'll ever get, or give, is to pay attention to, and communicate with, the other person; get to know him and understand what he wants, and needs, and what will make him happy. (The bonus is, that advice actually works with just about anyone in your life, not just dates.) 

Plus, you might save yourself a bunch of money. I mean, bread and pasta is much less expensive than roses.


  1. I got roses once - and within a couple hours my two cats ate them and became extremely ill :) Have to say, I like flowers but the experience of having a meal cooked, glass (or bottle...or two) of wine and a nice night in...that's what creates amazing memories

  2. I dated a guy once that gave me daisies all the time because it was his grandma's favorite flower. I appreciated the gesture, but when I moved on to the next boyfriend he was nice enough to try to find out my favorite flower by asking my mom. She told him... daisies. I couldn't escape them!!