I wonder - often - why men just disappear. I get that things change. Feelings or circumstances can shift whenever, especially when two people have just met or a relationship is new.
What I've never understood is why people don't just say something. Call, send an email - mail a letter, even! - and just say, hey, sorry but things have changed. Take care.
I have always thought it might be because the guy doesn't want to deal with the unpleasant conversation. He doesn't want to have to hurt the woman's (OK, my) feelings. Maybe he doesn't want to deal with her getting upset or crying or asking him to explain.
Which honestly, in most cases, wouldn't happen. I can't be the only woman who doesn't always care for an explanation - I figure at best, it'll only be part of the story, anyway. Most of the time, my feelings are a little hurt - but not enough to pursue an explanation. I'm certainly not going to try and talk someone into dating me.
Then the other day, during an email conversation on this topic, it occurred to me:
Maybe that's the real concern?
Maybe some guys realize that they are not actually the center of a woman's universe. Maybe some realize that if they pull away, she might just let him go. They just might realize that if they aren't into her...maybe she feels the same.
Maybe that's what they don't want to face?
I'm thinking it's a mixture. Some guys don't want to tell the truth. Some guys don't want to hear the truth....
...and some guys wouldn't know the truth if it bit them.