Monday, August 22, 2011

What's perfect for you?

My friend shared this story the other day about a man who spends a year planning his girlfriend's dream wedding - and then surprises her with the whole thing the day of his proposal.

Insanely romantic, right? I still think he might be an alien.

Nevertheless, hopeless hopeful romantics (including me) blew up the interwebz with thoughts about how wonderful this is, how romantic and perfect the guy is - and just how lucky can one girl get, anyway?

People who know me - I mean really know me - would laugh if I mentioned this story, and how lucky this girl is. Why laugh? They would say it's funny that I would think this was romantic and wonderful, when, if someone did that for me - I'd hate it.

And you know what? They'd be right.

Not that I'd hate the gesture. It seems like his heart was in the right place, and he's totally doing something just to make his love happy. That's sincere, and it's wonderful.

What I'd hate would be the fact that something I said a year ago was put into action - even if I'd since changed my mind (which happens a lot). I'd also not be thrilled that I didn't know I was getting married - no chance to have a pedicure, manicure, hair appointment, waxing appointment, makeup done, or dress fitting. I'd be upset that I didn't have the chance to get "wedding fit" or plan all the little details that I love so much.

Would I be mad at my new husband? No. Would I refuse the wedding? Of course not. I'd love and appreciate someone doing something that nice for me - and I'd be grateful for anyone wanting me to be that happy.

But for those of you thinking, "Gee, no one would ever do that for me," you should ask yourself:

Would you really want him to do that? Or is your perfect love out there, right now, doing something completely different?


  1. It was an absolutely kind and thoughtful gesture, but I also wouldn't like it if it was done for me. I wouldn't want it done because a) I like to do things myself and have some control over it. b) I too change my mind about things constantly, and c) I wouldn't want someone to be put out by the amount of work.

    (Yes, I realize that it's not being put out for the groom to plan his own wedding, but still it doesn't feel right!)

  2. I thought it was a sign of potential bad things. Like, maybe, a very, VERY controlling personality. And if that's what she has always wanted, never to have to make decisions, then OK. But, I'm betting not. He took away from her the appreciation of expectation. It could be just the start. Her friends should keep an eye out.