Best you can do

I was talking to a friend the other night who is going through a lot of personal challenges, some of which are affecting the status of her relationship. Things are okay with her boyfriend - but circumstances are preventing their relationship from taking shape in exactly the way she'd envisioned.

Still - she loves the guy. Other friends have told her not to settle, that she deserves to be happy. All very true - no one wants happiness for my friend more than I do. But happy doesn't always come packaged exactly the way we hope.

My friend isn't one to take any challenge lying down - and she doesn't accept defeat. Ever. (I'd never bet against her.) She told me she considered ending things when it seemed they weren't going the way she'd hoped; then she thought, why? So she could move on and maybe find someone else, or find happiness being single? The relationship will eventually work out the way she's hoping, it'll just take a little longer. Does she give up what seems to be the love of her life just because she's not patient enough to wait a little bit?

She decided that she does deserve happiness, and real, true love is worth the wait. Until then, she said, "I guess I'll just do the best I can and see how it shapes up."

"But really, that's all any of us are ever doing in a relationship," I told her.

Seriously - we all want guarantees. But anyone who has lived a little bit of life - and has been paying attention at all - can tell you that nothing is guaranteed. We find the perfect person, settle down, get married, buy a house, have a couple of kids, and - poof! It can still all fall apart.

You never know where life is going to take you, and you don't ever know what might happen next. The best you can do is stop looking for guarantees, trying to plan every second, and worrying about what might go wrong.

Start enjoying life for what you have in the moment; appreciate the people in your life now, because you don't know what might happen to take them away in the future.