It isn't easy to blog about dating - or any other personal part of life, for that matter. I have a lot of respect and admiration for anyone who puts herself (or himself) out there and shares experiences or advice or tips and tricks. I sent out another general invitation for guest posts - and some of you listened (thanks ever so much, by the way!). I'm happy to share this one, from Woody's Single Life. Looks to me like Woody's learned a lot about herself, and about dating. "It's not until we move on and spend time alone that we start to recognize the need for change" - couldn't agree more.
Haywood (or "Woody" as her friends call her) is a snarky, single lady born and raised in Charleston, SC. Having lived in Seattle and Montana as well, she's had some crazy, eye opening experiences in the world of dating, relationships, single-dom and life in general. Instead of letting life's mishaps bring her down, Woody puts a sarcastic spin on life's lemons and makes a stiff drink! You can visit Woody at her facebook page or follow her on twitter.
So on a split second, bad judgement call whim, I decide to text my ex-boyfriend...let's call him Bob...just to catch up and compare notes on our single and equally independent lives. It always makes me feel better to know I have a single ex out there who doesn't have an automatic charades partner they're occupying their time with. So on nights like tonight, when I need a little pick me up, I grab the ol' telly for a bit of a reminiscing sesh, if you will. I believe I will think twice before deciding to make that call again.
So I text him a witty one liner from Anchorman to get things going and finish with a "PS: this is my last attempt to contact as this is getting pathetic...and I'm running out of witty one liners..." (Back pedal: the last few times we've tried to connect, one or both of us have been preoccupied with friends or work...due to the nature of our relationship, that comment wasn't as pathetic as it looks). A few minutes passes and he says, "Woody, the reason I haven't been able to chat/text with you is because I am comitted..." Comitted? To a mental institution??? That's where this chick he's with needs to be! Ok...sorry, but this man is a serial cheater! He has cheated on every girl he's been with multiple times (once in my case, thank you). And now he's "comitted?" That's fine.
Once again, I find myself trying to convince myself that it is for the best that I'm not with a guy from my past. Who knows? Maybe he is still a cheater...maybe my other ex IS still a sociopath...maybe the ex before that IS still a mean drunk. But I can't help to wonder...did I just not wait long enough? Could these guys that I dropped at the peak of their douche baggery really be aiming for a homerun into the hall of fame of awesomeness? I mean, I'm not perfect. I'm sure guys that wouldn't have dated me in my wild days would kick themselves now. But at that time, I WASN'T "bring home to mama" material. Does anyone see where I'm going with this? I'm not saying that every guy I've dated would want to be with me now, but let's just say...for blog's sake...that is the case...maybe if I stuck it out through the peak of their complete tool phases, that they would turn that corner while we were still together and POOF! Prince motha friggin Charming!
But let's be honest...if I think about it...after every one of these relationships...I learned something new about myself. I turned a corner and figured out one or more things I wanted to aim for and to change in my life. This is what has made me the cool as shit chica I've become. That being said, after breaking up with me, these fine specimens (I'm giving tons of credit here) probably turned a corner themselves. They probably realized some things they disliked about themselves and wanted to change about themselves in order to make them more appealing for the next lady that came along and (hopefully) for themselves.
Moral of the story: Yes...it is inevitable that if you're single and as you get older...you will notice not only friends pairing off, but worse...exes getting into relationships, and worse yet...getting married. And yes, this does have a tiny bit to do with you (me) because we affect everyone we are in relationships with. Once we end a relationship, we start wondering what went wrong and start building ourselves back up to be the desirable person we want others to see us as. But never dwell on "that could be me." Because if it were you, it would be you with the same guy you broke up with back when. It's not until we move on and spend time alone that we start to recognize the need for change.