As Dave Barry once said - "A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person."
If you’re dating a guy who you’re really into but there have been a few clues signaling that the relationship is destined for doom, then there’s a good chance your intuition is dead on. Even if the guy could pass as Ryan Gosling’s twin, has a degree from Yale, and is more charming than Cinderella’s guy, if the following red flags are waving high and bright over your relationship, unless you have a fondness for debilitating heartache, don’t ignore them.
Red Flag #1: He’s newly single. If the guy you’re seeing exited another relationship so recently that he hasn’t even had to time to change his status on Facebook to “single,” then proceed with extreme caution. When a guy immediately jumps into a new relationship before letting the dust settle from his previous one, there is a big chance that your relationship with him will be one of the rebound variety. So if you really like the guy and don’t want to be consumed by problems from his past, let him have some space to clear his head, get over his ex and be single for a while. If it’s meant to be with you and him, things will work out when the time is right.
Red Flag #2: He lives at home. Hey, there have been some weeks that you’ve maintained a diet of nothing but Ramen Noodles in order to buy those cute new pumps you couldn’t take another breath without (priorities, right?). So there’s no secret that living in a world marked by such a crippling economy is tough…but if a prospective guy is claiming residence in the basement of his mother’s house, doesn’t have a job, doesn’t plan to get a job, and his only form of transportation is his bicycle made for one…then don’t expect too much from the fella. Not saying to be completely shallow and only date guys who rake in a minimum of six figures a year; but if you date a guy with zero motivation in life, he’s likely to be immature and won’t be able to satisfy a responsible, mature gal like yourself with a fulfilling relationship.
Red Flag #3: He is a fling junkie. Everyone has a past—and let’s be honest, yours is one riddled with men who may have left you questioning if life would be better off as either a nun or a lesbian. But if your new guy’s past is comprised of more flings than you can count, tread lightly. An exorbitant amount of hook-ups and relationships that haven’t made it past the two-week mark may mean that he’s not looking for anything serious. So that you don’t wind up as just another notch on his bedpost, be sure to take things slowly until you know he’s committed to making you the exception to his former rules.
Red Flag #4: He is rude to others. Sure, it’s all flowers, butterflies, hearts and rainbows in the beginning when he’s trying to win you over with his affection. But if you notice that your guy acts differently with you than he does with other people, be careful. Watch the way he treats strangers, his friends and especially his mother. Someone with the right intentions is going to demonstrate consistent behavior across the board. He may be nice to you now but if he doesn’t treat other people in his life with kindness, then don’t expect for him to treat you any differently after the newness of your relationship wears off.
Joe Morris is a guest-post author who enjoys writing about dating and relationships. In addition, Joe also writes articles about safe online dating for Best Online Dating Sites.