Absence makes the heart grow fonder

So, I'm on vacation - and not with Trooper. I took a week to spend some time in a beautiful place (for free), and enjoy sun-soaked days bonding with my favorite family-members. Despite a slightly rough start, and the occasional hiccup, I'm loving every second.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I have to confess...taking vacations away from my "other" has always made me a little nervous. I think there's a part of me that feels like the only reason people like me is because I'm right in front of them. Sort of like a squeaky wheel gets the oil mentality. I guess I just worry that a person might realize his life is better/happier/quieter when I'm not around.

Now, I used to let that affect my decisions. I would talk myself out of doing things separately from my SO - and in a million years, never would have done a trip like this! If I couldn't avoid the separate trip or outing, I was usually miserable the whole time, worrying about what might happen when I came back.

Not this time.

I guess you could say this is another lesson that I've learned. I finally realized that, if a guy doesn't miss me when I go away, he really doesn't like me all that much when I'm around, either. I understand that if going away causes a problem in a relationship, that issue already existed. If the trip doesn't bring it to the surface, something else will. I don't have to worry that my absence will cause me to lose him, because if it did - he was never really mine, anyway.

There are no guarantees - but realizing that, and freeing yourself from the worry, is almost as comforting as if you were given one.