Friday, April 8, 2011

My line in the sand

I wrote this quick post the other day, after a brief exchange with Crush. I explain it there, if you want to read exactly what happened.

In summary - I dropped a hint, and Crush responded with some communication, which led to nothing more than some witty banter. Leaving me to ponder: If he wasn't interested, he wouldn't have even made that much effort; but if he was interested - he'd have asked me out.

It was sort of the same way when we had our first date. He invited me back to his house - then didn't sit next to me. Again - if he wasn't interested, why invite me - but if he was interested, why not show it when he had the chance?

I've gotten all kinds of feedback from friends on this. Everything from, "He has no balls," (from a guy friend) to, "He's too complicated."

At one time, I was that girl who would have kept pushing. Truthfully, she shines through a little even now, though I tend more towards the, "This is starting to feel like work," point of view. I lose interest, or I believe he's lost interest, and in an effort to not make things more uncomfortable or difficult for anyone - I back off.

I'll be honest - I also don't want to chase a guy. I've done that, and I feel like I'm at a point in life where I should be chased (even if it's just a little bit). I'm not trying to play "hard to get" or anything - I'm just looking for the guy to be honest about what he wants. If he doesn't want to date, that's cool. Just don't send me signals indicating otherwise.

My friends are also divided on the "rules" for this situation, too. Keep dropping hints? Back off altogether? Just flat out ask him if he wants to go on a date? Everything except some sort of love potion/ritual, though I don't think we've totally ruled that out, either.

I wise woman said to me the other night, "There are no rules. Do what you feel." I think she's right. Every relationship is different. I think you know when you should just walk away. There are times when your personal "rules" - your own line in the sand - should absolutely apply, and will get you out of a jam.

Other times, I don't think that line is so clear.

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