Monday, April 4, 2011

Crush, profiles...and other updates

When things ended with Big, I thought I'd just jump right back into the whole dating thing because...well, because I couldn't imagine being happy without having a guy in my life.

Since then, I've learned that guys and happiness aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, it's better to find a guy who fits your happy than to try and create your happy around a guy. That's what I've been trying to do - and honestly - it's worked.

I tried the online-dating thing, having had success with that in the past. This time - not so much, as some people predicted. But the breakup also taught me to take what I know and build communities from there. What do I know? Twitter and blogging - which, it turns out, are excellent ways to not only meet truly great friends, but also "interests." Crush is back. (OK, OK - I may have the jumped the gun in thinking he was blowing me off.) I'm proceeding with cautious optimism, realizing it may be we are only meant to be friends. Only time will tell.

That being said - I'm less and less interested in "searching" for a guy. Seems that life can take some funny turns if you let it - without using a search function to steer. The way Crush and I met is so cool - and it seems like it's a better way to find someone - at least right now. Between that, some family drama and the new happy I'm building for myself - I see myself going on fewer dates.

Which is an issue - for a dating blog. But, it was recently pointed out to me that this blog is skewed. For example, in the Best of the Worst, I talk about the horrors of guys' online dating profiles. But (and I'm speculating here) ladies' profiles are probably just as horrific, no? I aim to answer that question. Starting this week, we'll be checking out the best of the worst - male and female editions.

I also want to clarify that the best of the worst posts are not intended as a way to make fun of people. If I wanted to do that - I'd share with you where I find them, their user name, etc. I intend it as a fun way of looking at profiles that have flaws - and maybe pointing out some things that could be done to make improvements. If it's not received that way - I'm sorry.

Why am I telling you all this? Possibly because it's late and I'm tired. But I also want to prepare you for fewer posts. Possibly three (maybe four, sometimes) a week, instead of my usual. Plus, you can check out my new tumblr for mini-posts and of course follow me on twitter for micro-mini posts.

Stick with me, folks - this is sure to get interesting.


  1. Some advice from a man. DO NOT try and get your happiness from a relationship. You put unfair pressure on your partner and you set yourself up for inevitable disappointment. The goal is to make yourself happy and find someone you want to share it with.

    You'll find when you're able to be happy alone that you'll become the hunted instead of the hunter.

    Its's with this that your mind will be clear and able to more accurately access the potential of the relationship. When you're satisfied with yourself, it's a lot easier to say good-bye to people who don't fit in your future.

  2. Thanks. It took me a long time to realize the truth in what you say, but I finally did. I've actually never been happier in my life, and it has nothing to do with a guy. I met Crush when I was totally not looking, and if it works out - that's awesome, but if not, I'm very okay with that, too.