Signs

I'm still seeing Sparrow. We've gotten together a few times since that first date on July 4th. I really do like him; he's funny, smart, knows how to spell and does not speak in shorthand, attractive, has a job, and does not live with his parents.

He could totally pass the test, if one were given.

He is also very open and upfront about how he feels. That's a wonderful thing, and I suppose it would be unfair to complain about someone being open about his feelings, when I say all I want is for someone to be open and honest.

But I'm gun-shy. Others have been "open and honest"...and said they really liked me....and then it turned out - they didn't. I trusted what they were saying (and/or how they were acting), and in the end, all I got was hurt.

But I keep telling myself that is also not fair. I shouldn't judge a man based on the actions of others.

I also keep reminding myself that this is something I want...to find someone special, who makes me feel good, brings good to my life - and who wants me around. I want to find an honest, true, meant-to-be sorta love.

So I'd be foolish to walk away when I find that, just because I'm worried I might get hurt. The truth is, getting hurt will always be a possibility. If I close myself off to that possibility, then I have to close myself off to the possibility of love, too.

The universe keeps sending me signs. Like the other day, I found a blog post written by a friend, about his fiance (also a friend). I said to her,

If I'm still with Sparrow in a year, [he] can take a little credit. He reminded me that I would really like someone to feel that way about me (and not be afraid to say so out loud).

Thing is, I keep finding little reminders like that. I think it's the universe's way of saying, "Hey jackass - this is what you SAID you wanted, so what's your malfunction?!"

The universe can be so snotty and judgmental sometimes.