Monday, July 2, 2012

Happily single

I really do love love. I think the idea of finding that one person with whom you can share your life is just magical.

I know a lot of people expect divorcees to feel differently. We're supposed to be jaded against marriage, and think the whole idea is a sham, or whatever. But I don't feel that way. I liked being married. I liked being a wife; knowing that I had someone to come home to, and that someone was counting on me, too. I liked the feeling of stability and contentment that only comes from having a long-term, lifetime commitment. 

Sure, being divorced, I realize that "lifetime" and "forever" are tough to achieve. But that's true of anything worth having. I happen to think love is worth the effort.

This feeling is met with some....doubt. Seems my tendency to want a relationship is perceived as weak, or dependent, or, I don't know...pathetic. 

To anyone who agrees - I'm really sorry you feel that way. You couldn't be more wrong.

You're confusing "I want a relationship" with "I want to be in love." They're not the same thing. Listen to the difference. 

"I want a relationship" - 
I am afraid to be alone. I will date anyone remotely fitting my very general and negotiable criteria, in the hopes that he will stay with me. Anyone who does stay with me will automatically be elevated to relationship status, and I will try to make it "stick" as quickly as possible. This way, I won't have to be alone - because we all know, it's better to be with someone for the wrong reasons, than to be alone for any reason.
"I want to be in love" -
I'm very happy being single. In fact, I actually enjoy single-hood. I just happen to be of the mindset that life is more fun when it's shared with one special person. I am very self-aware. I am also confident and independent enough to lead a happy, fulfilling life on my own. I just also know that if I meet the right person, he could add so much to that happiness. I won't stop looking for him, or close myself off to the possibility. But I also won't settle. 
I'm not weak. I'm not pathetic. I'm not dependent - on anyone. In fact - I'm just the opposite.

I'm an independent woman who can take care of herself, live on her own, and make her own choices. I'm also confident enough to stand behind those choices. 

I choose to hope believe that someday, I'll meet the right person. 

Until then - I choose to be happily single.


  1. What a great post! I have always said I loved being a wife and I loved being in love BUT I'm very picky and have not and will not settle this time around. You hit the nail on the head with the two descriptions. Loved it. :)

  2. This post is FANTASTIC. Though I think that about all of your posts. I get asked all the time why I am single. My other friends male and female alike pop in and out of relationships and when questioned it is because they don't like being alone. I can not get into that mindset. I love being in love, and in a relationship but can be just as happy without. Thank you for validating my beliefs.