Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Going the distance

Ever see that movie? I just love Justin Long, and I have a girl-crush on Drew Barrymore.


The couple in that movie have a very long distance romance - he's in New York, she's in San Franciso. I remember thinking when I watched the movie that there is no way I could ever do a long distance relationship.

Fast forward almost two years, my feelings on relationships have changed a bit. I'm no longer opposed to the LDR. In fact, I have two friends who have both had a fair amount of success with relationships that involved a distance of about 150 miles. I can see the advantage, especially after spending time on my own. I like my space; an LDR lets me keep it to myself.

So I wasn't opposed to chatting with Sparrow when he contacted me through Plenty of Fish. Cute, the right age, and no misspelled words or grammatical errors in his profile.

It was one of the best conversations I've ever had with a person right off the bat. Tons of chemistry, a lot in common, and he got my humor, even through email and text messages. Of course, he lives about 100 miles south.

We seized the opportunity of a mid-week holiday, and met about half-way for fireworks and hot dogs on the Fourth of July. I tweeted I had a date that might be worthy of a new outfit - and he was! We had a fabulous first date that lasted about 10 hours - and ended with a bang.

Great, right? But here's the thing...

I'm starting to see what some people don't like about the distance. Sure, it's nice to have your own space. But what about when you don't want that distance? I love a little spontaneity; a quick text to see if you want to meet for ice cream, or a movie, or check out a free concert. There's none of that when your date is 100 miles away.

Don't get me wrong - I love the big dates. I love planing my outfit, getting excited, and anticipating the fun we'll have together. But when everything is an activity, you do lose a little bit. Everything is fun, days are jam-packed with stuff to do; you don't really have a chance to just sit around after work and watch the news. Or see what the person is like when you're running mundane errands.

I suppose it might make a difference if we'd established a relationship first - and then it became long distance. But that's not my situation; and he seems to great to just walk away.

So, do I try to make this work? Work through the questions and uncertainty? Try to figure out this whole new set of rules.

Sounds like the plan - at least for now.


  1. I had the Faux-Beau in VA for awhile and I can offer this thought:

    Sometimes, doing something together, doesn't actually mean together. We'd watch tv "together" via gchat or phone, we'd go grocery shopping "together" which we both hated but texting each other the ridiculousness that we saw was fun, hell we even cooked and at dinner "together"

    Same time, same thing just a few hundred miles apart. There's nothing that says you can't share your day or experiences virtually with someone special.

    Heck, you and I go shopping that way sometimes! ;)

    You'll figure it out if it feels right. Sometimes it just takes getting a little creative to figure it out.

  2. I have tried LDR and it's not really good! We end up getting hurt because of what my boyfriend did. You what it right?he's cheating! Well, it's not a shocking event because most of LDR didn't last longer!
    Maybe some couples are survived it and congrats to them!
    Anyways thank you for sharing this one. I could really relate it now!But it's alright I can move on.

  3. Thanks for creating and keeping this blog updated about this long distance relationship topic. Great read in here too. :)

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